A period of struggle and dejection, of patience and impatience, of hope and despair

And you know, I am toiling away at watercolors right now and when I have got my hand in, they will be saleable. But Theo, believe me, when I went to Mauve for the first time with my pen drawings and M. said, “Now try it with charcoal and crayon and stump,” I had the devil of a job working with that new material. I was patient, but that didn't seem to help, then I grew so impatient at times that I would stamp on my charcoal and become utterly dejected. And yet, a little while later, I sent you drawings done with chalk and charcoal and the brush, and I went back to Mauve with a whole lot of similar ones, in which, naturally, he found something to criticize, and with reason, and you did as well, it was a step forward.

Now I am once again passing through a similar period of struggle and dejection, of patience and impatience, of hope and despair. But I have to struggle on and, well, in good time I shall understand watercolors better. If it were easy, there would be no pleasure in it. And ditto, ditto with painting.

To Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 7-8 January 1882, Letter 169
Translations courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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