It is less dangerous to be absorbed than to stare into the unfathomable

The daily work is something that does not change, and it is less dangerous to be absorbed in it than to stare into the unfathomable. . . .

Although in consequence of having taken the woman and her two children into my house I have had some unpleasant experiences - some of them very nasty indeed - still the encounter has given me a certain calm and serenity. And I worked hard this winter. I had some very striking models.

At the moment I am not working so very hard, for after working - especially on heads - for some months practically without rest or interruption, I have been feeling a kind of weakness or exhaustion which I find I can't overcome. The same thing happened to my eyes, so that even simply looking at things bothered me. But I have walked a good deal in the country these last days, and my eyes are normal again.

I think I have at least 150 drawings that you have not seen yet.

The changes in my household, instead of causing me to work less, have caused me to work more; I worked even with a sort of fury, but a quiet fury, if you will allow me to use the expression. I also started reading again, which I had neglected for some time.

To Anton von Rappard, from The Hague, 7 February 1883, Letter R21
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
Back to The Way of Vincent: Making art no matter what