He has considered me a kind of incompetent dreamer

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, c. 11 March 1882

Perhaps you will think what I wrote you about Tersteeg rather harsh. But I cannot take it back. He must be told straight out, or else it doesn't penetrate his armor. For years he has considered me a kind of incompetent dreamer; he still does; and even says of my drawing, “That is a kind of narcotic which you take in order not to feel the pain not being able to make watercolors causes you.”

Well, that's a very fine idea, but it is thoughtless, superficial and not to the point; the main reason for my not being able to make watercolors is that I must draw even more seriously, paying greater attention to proportions and perspective.

Enough of that. I don't deserve his reproaches, and if my drawings don't amuse him, then it doesn't amuse me to show them to him.

He condemns my drawings, which have a great deal of good in them, and I did not expect this of him.

Letter 180
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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