I will not force and I will not forsake

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 14 May 1882

That man's behavior made him guilty before God, although in the eyes of the world he had kept up his position, ‘had paid her off.’ But at the moment when he faced death, do you imagine he felt no regret and remorse???

Now, in this world, the characters of people like him come up against characters like, say, mine. I care as little for the world as the aforesaid person cared for what is right. The semblance of doing right was enough for him. As for me, I wouldn't give you tuppence for the world's opinion. What comes first and foremost with me is this: I will not deceive or forsake a woman. If a woman refuses to have anything to do with me, like Kee Vos, I don't try to force her, no matter how strong my passion. I turn away with desolation in my heart the moment my own ‘she and no other’ is met by her ‘certainly not him.’

I will not force and I will not forsake. And I, too, protest when I myself am forced or forsaken.

Letter 198
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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