My real self is developing

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 6 July 1882

I have done my best, brother, to take care that you will see (and not only you, but anyone with eyes in his head) that I aim at and sometimes succeed in doing things practically. . . . The house is neat and bright and clean and well kept, and I have most of my furniture, beds and painting materials. It has cost what it has cost - indeed, I shall not minimize it - but then your money has not been thrown away. It has started a new studio which cannot do without your help even now, but which is going to produce more and more drawings, and which is full of furniture and working materials that are necessary and retain their value.

. . . You know my life has not always been happy, but very often miserable; and now through your help my youth has returned and my real self is developing.

I only hope that you will keep this great change in mind, even when people think it foolish of you to have helped me and to continue helping me. And I hope that you will continue to see the germ of the next drawings in the present ones.

Letter 212
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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