A thing far removed from any rest

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 27 November 1882

That there is a great chance of going under in the struggle, that a painter is something like a "lost sentinel," these and other things need no saying. You must not think of me as so readily scared - for instance, to paint the Borinage would be something so difficult, so relatively dangerous as to make life a thing far removed from any rest or pleasure. Yet I would undertake it if I could, that is, if I didn't know sure, as I do now, that the expenses would surpass my means. If I could find people who would interest themselves in such an enterprise, I would risk it. But just because you are really the only one for the moment who has a concern over what I do, the thing has to be put on the shelf for the present and must remain there, and meanwhile I will find other things to do. But I do not give it up to spare myself.

Letter 248
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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