Something manly

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 21 August 1883

I can hardly tell you how pleased I am with what you say about my work, I am glad you are of the opinion that it would be the wrong policy to undertake some outside job at the same time.

This leads to half measures, which make one half a man.

The most important thing is to get that “something manly” more and more into my work.

I don't believe you will need to take back that you notice something of it already, especially if I regain my strength.

Letter 316
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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My own thoughts and intentions

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 21 August 1883

One of these days I shall write you a letter; I shall write it carefully and try to make it short, but say everything I think necessary. You might keep that letter then, so that in case you should meet somebody who might be induced to buy some of my studies, you could tell that man my own thoughts and intentions exactly. My thought in this being especially: one of my drawings taken separately will never give complete satisfaction in the long run, but a number of studies, however different in detail they may be, will nevertheless complement each other. In short, for the art lovers themselves it is it in my opinion better to take a number of them than just a single one. As to the money, I would rather deal with an art lover who buys cheaply but regularly than with one who buys only once, even if he paid well then.

Letter 316
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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I resign myself to everything

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 20-21 August 1883

My profession is my profession and I do not waver, but must stick to it. . . . I am so grateful for our relation that I pay no attention to the question of being richer or poorer, having an easier or a more difficult life - silently accepting the fact that I am content with every condition, and that I resign myself to everything and put up with everything, if it must be.

The only thing I do not want you to doubt is my good will, my zeal - and further, I want you to credit me with some common sense, and not suspect me of doing absurd things, and I want you to let me go on living quietly in my own way.

Of course I must experiment to find things, and suffer failures, but in the end the work will come out all right.

Letter 315
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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My heart longs for us to be together

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 20-21 August 188

At this moment you are in Nuenen.

I wish, brother, there were no reasons for me to be absent. I wish we were walking there together in the old village churchyard, or looking in at a weaver's. Now that cannot be - why not? - oh, because I feel I should be a killjoy in my present mood.

I repeat - I do not quite understand it, and think it is going a little too far - when you as well as Father feel ashamed just to walk with me. For my part I stay away, though my heart longs for us to be together.

Because I cannot spare that one little moment of seeing you or Father without mental reservations, only for the sake of indissoluble ties, I wish we would never again speak about the question of manners or clothes when we meet again. You see that in everything I withdraw as far as possible instead of pushing myself forward. But don't let decorum breed a general estrangement. That one bright moment - of seeing each other once a year - must not be darkened.

Letter 315
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Fortune has favored me but little

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 20-21 August 1883

My idea about earning money is as simple as can be - it is that it must come through my work, and that nothing can be gained by going to speak to people about it.

Yet whenever there is a chance, I try to catch it . . . but up to now fortune has favored me but little. Well, never mind, if only you do not upset me by suspecting me of unwillingness.

For I think if you consider things seriously, you will not doubt my working hard, and besides, if you should insist on my going to ask people to buy from me, I would do so, but in that case I should perhaps get melancholy. . . .

Brother dear, human brains cannot bear everything; there is a limit. . . . Trying to go and speak to people about my work makes me more nervous than is good for me. And what is the result? Rejection, or being put off with fair promises.

Letter 315
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Slow but sure progress

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 20-21 August 1883

We'll make slow but sure progress, and I do not know a better way. . . .

Well, I have made up my mind in no case to become impatient, even if people purposely put obstacles in my way. . . .

I think there is a difference between now and the past. In the years gone by there used to be more passion both in making and in judging work. They deliberately chose this or that direction, they energetically took the part of one or the other. There was more animation. I think now there is a spirit of capriciousness and satiety; people are generally more lukewarm. For my part, I already wrote you some time ago that it seemed to me that there had been a sharp decline since Millet, as if the top had already been reached and decadence had set in. This has influenced everybody and everything.

Letter 315
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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If I must do with less, so be it

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 20-21 August 1883

Dear brother, there doesn't seem to be a little more ease in store for me. I will try not to complain, I will bear what I can.

Though I stick to my conviction that my work really demands more, and that I also ought to be able to spend a little more on food and other necessities, if I must do with less, so be it. After all, my life is perhaps not worth the money, why should I worry about it? And it's really nobody's fault, neither is it my own.

But I hope you will be convinced of one thing - that it is impossible to do more than stint oneself even in food, clothes, every comfort, every necessity. When one has skimped in everything, there can be no question of unwillingness, can there? You know very well that if somebody said to me, Do this or that, make a drawing of this or that, I should not refuse, yes, I would even make several trials with pleasure if the first one did not succeed. But nobody has said it - or only so vaguely, so generally, that it puts me out rather than helps me.

Letter 315
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Paint a great deal

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 22-23 August 1883

The main thing now is to paint a great deal. That, and again saturating myself in nature's serenity on the heath, will bring us victory in the end - do not doubt it - and progress from month to month. . . .

It will be the same with the painted studies as it is with the drawings. Later, when I shall have made more progress, people will see that a certain figure, a certain bit of scenery, already bears a personal character.

Letter 317
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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A period of absurdities

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 22-23 August 1883

I am very glad about your revised opinion about my work - your revised opinion tallies with Rappard's - Van der Weele also thinks there is something in my work. Personally, I believe that in every painter's life there is a period when he makes absurdities, and for myself, I think that period is already a long time behind me. Further, I think that I am making progress slowly but steadily, and that the better work I do later will cast a reflex on the work I am doing now, and will show more clearly that even now there is already some truth and simplicity in it, and as you yourself express it, a manly conception and perception.

So that if you now find something in a study, you will not have to retract that opinion, and later better work will never make you indifferent to the first.

Letter 317
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Go your own way quietly

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 22-23 August 1883

I told him again that I was sorry I had not learned more about painting this year.

His answer was, “Oh, don't bother about that: in the first place, everybody has his own weak points - if he learns from somebody else, he often acquires his master's faults in addition to his own; go your own way quietly, without worrying about that.” Well, at heart I think exactly the same, except that I should think myself too conceited if I was not always ready to learn something from others. But it may be considered a piece of good luck if one can hear or learn something from somebody else this way. . . .

Last year Weissenbruch already said something like that to me - go your own way quietly, and in your old age, you will look back on your first studies with satisfaction.

Letter 317
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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What will be most profitable?

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 20 August 1882

I should not want to make things that were intrinsically bad, untrue, and of false conception, because I love nature too much. But this is the problem: I must still make many studies to reach something higher and better. What will be most profitable, drawing those studies or painting them? . . .

I certainly hope that you will not infer from this letter that I am pretentious enough to think these first studies saleable. Formerly I could tell better than now what things were worth, whether they were saleable or not; now I notice daily that I do not know any more, and studying nature is more important to me than studying the prices of pictures. . . . I would rather you decided this than I, because I think you are more competent to judge financial success, and I absolutely trust your judgment.

Letter 227
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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My goal is the more severe and virile things

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 20 August 1882

I see a change in these painted things, and I am writing you about it because you can tell better than I how it may affect the eventual saleability. At all events it seems to me that the painted studies have a more pleasant aspect than my drawings.

Personally, I attach less value to the more pleasant, less meager effect; my goal is the expression of more severe and virile things, for which I still have to drudge a great deal.

But if you said, Work on those landscapes or woods scenes or marines, I would have nothing against it, as it would not prevent my attempting larger or more serious things. I should only want the assurance that they are worth the brushes, the paint and the canvas.

Letter 227
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Some real good in my work

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 20 August 1882

Please do not suspect me of being indifferent to earning money; I am trying to find the shortest way to that end. If only those means of earning money be real and lasting, which I personally can only see in the future if there is some real good in my work, not if I aim exclusively at saleability - one has to suffer for that later - but if I study nature carefully.

Letter 227
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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I left romantic illusions behind me

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 20 August 1882

Lately I read part of a rather melancholy book, Letters and Diary of Gerard Bilders. He died at the age when I began. When I read that, I was not sorry that I started late. He certainly was unhappy and was often misunderstood, but at the same time I find a great weakness in him, something morbid in his character. . . . At first everything goes all right - he is with a teacher (as in a hothouse) - he makes quick progress but in Amsterdam he is almost alone, and with all his cleverness, he cannot stand it there, and comes back home to his father quite discouraged, dissatisfied, listless - he paints a little there, and then dies of consumption or of some other disease in his twenty-eighth year.

What I don't like about him is that while he paints, he complains of terrible dullness and idleness, as though it were something he couldn't do anything about; and he continues to run around with a, to him, too oppressive circle of friends, and persisting in the amusements and way of life which bore him to death. . . .

What I want to say is, Gerard Bilders's view of life was romantic, and he never got over the “illusions perdues”; for my part I think it a certain advantage that I started only when I had left romantic illusions behind me. I must make up for lost time now. I must work hard, but just when one has left the lost illusions behind, work becomes a necessity and one of the few pleasures left. And this gives a great quiet and tranquility.

Letter 227
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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I absolutely want to succeed in doing better

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 20 August 1882

If I have now painted so many studies in a short time, it is because I work hard, literally working all day, scarcely taking time even to eat or drink.

There are little figures in several of the studies. I also worked on a large one and have scraped it off twice, which you would perhaps have thought too rash if you had seen the effect; but it was not impatience, it was because I feel I can do even better by grinding and trying, and I absolutely want to succeed in doing better, however much time, however much trouble it may cost.

Letter 227
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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I am in doubt

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 20 August 1882

I think it possible that if you saw the paintings, you would say that I ought to go on with it, not just at times when I feel particularly inclined, but regularly, as absolutely the most important thing, though it might cause more expenses. But though I myself love doing it, and for the present shall probably not paint as much as my ambition and desire demand because of the heavy expenses, I think I shall not lose by giving a great deal of my time to drawing, and I do this with no less pleasure. However, I am in doubt - painting comes easier to me than I expected - perhaps it would be better to throw myself into it with all my strength, first pegging away with the brush. I must say I cannot tell.

Letter 227
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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There is something infinite in painting

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 19 August 1882

There is something infinite in painting - I cannot explain it to you so well - but it is so delightful just for expressing one's feelings. There are hidden harmonies or contrasts in colors which involuntarily combine to work together and which could not possibly be used in another way.

Tomorrow I hope to go and work in the open air again.

Letter 226
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Painting makes me so happy

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 19 August 1882

It is the painting that makes me so happy these days. I restrained myself up to now, and stuck to drawing just because I know so many sad stories of people who threw themselves headlong into painting - who sought the solution of their problems in technique and awoke disillusioned, without having made any progress, but having become up to their ears in debt because of the expensive things they had spoiled.

I had feared and dreaded this from the start: I have considered drawing, and still do, the only way to avoid such a fate, and I have grown to love drawing instead of considering it a nuisance. Now, however, painting has unexpectedly given me much scope: it enables me to see effects that were unattainable before - just the ones which, after all, appeal to me most - and it enlightens me so much more on many questions and gives me new means by which to express effects. All together, these things make me very happy.

Letter 226
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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The wish to pursue what I need for my work

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 19 August 1882

Father and Mother will hardly be able to understand my frame of mind, and they will not know what urges me on. When they see me doing things which they think strange and eccentric, they will ascribe them to discontent, indifference, or carelessness, whereas in reality there is something quite different at the bottom of it, namely, the wish to pursue, at all costs, what I need for my work. Now they are perhaps looking forward to the “painting in oil.” Now at last it will come—and oh! how disappointed they would be, I am afraid, if they could see it; they would notice nothing but daubs of paint—besides, they consider drawing a “preparatory study” an expression which many years ago I learned to hate inexpressibly, and think as incorrect as it can be. As you well know. And when they see me still at it, the way I was before, they will think I am going to be doing that preparatory study forever.

Letter 226
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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We do not see the same things

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 19 August 1882

Well, I dare not allow myself any illusions, and I am afraid that Father and Mother may never really appreciate my art. This is not surprising, and it is not their fault; they have not learned to look at things as you and I have learned to look at them. They look at different things than we do; we do not see the same things with the same eyes, nor do the same thoughts occur to us. It is permissible to wish this were otherwise, but in my opinion it is not wise to expect it.

Letter 226
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Painting cannot succeed at once

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 19 August 1882

In the future, whenever Father and Mother saw me toiling and pegging away at my work — scraping it out and changing it — now severely comparing it to nature then changing it a little so they can no longer exactly recognize the spot or the figure — it would always be a disappointment to them. They will not be able to understand that painting cannot succeed at once, and over and over again they will think, “He doesn't really know anything about it,” and that real painters would work in quite a different way.

Letter 226
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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To devote one's life to the poetry in them

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 19 August 1882

I fully agree that, with all their good and bad qualities, Father and Mother are the kind of people who are becoming rare in the present time - more and more rare - and perhaps the new type is not at all better - and so one must appreciate them that much more.

Personally, I do indeed appreciate them. I am only afraid that the feeling about which you reassured them for the time being would come back, especially if they saw me again. They will never be able to understand what painting is. They cannot understand that the figure of a laborer—some furrows in a ploughed field - a bit of sand, sea and sky—are serious subjects, so difficult, but at the same time so beautiful, that it is indeed worth while to devote one's life to expressing the poetry hidden in them.

Letter 226
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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I shall often have to begin anew

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 19 August 1882

Painting the figure appeals to me very much, but it must ripen - I must get to know the technique better - what is sometimes called “la cuisine de l'art.” In the beginning I shall have to do much scraping, and shall often have to begin anew, but I feel that I learn from it and that it gives me a new, fresh view of things.

Letter 226
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Right now I'm beat

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 14 August 1882

Now, since I have bought my paint and brushes, I have drudged and worked so hard on seven painted studies that right now I'm beat. . . .

I do not believe that it will hinder me if my health should give way a little from time to time. As far as I can see, the painters who occasionally cannot work for a week or two are not the worst ones. It may be because they are the ones “who put their hide into it,” as father Millet says. That doesn't matter, and in my opinion one must not spare oneself when there is something important to do. If a short period of exhaustion follows, it will soon pass, and so much is gained that one harvests one's studies just the way a farmer harvests his crops. Now for myself, I have not yet thought of taking a rest.

Letter 225
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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I am full of ambition

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 14 August 1882

While painting, I feel a power of color in me that I did not possess before, things of broadness and strength.

Now I am not going to send you things at once - let it ripen a little first - but know that I am full of ambition and believe that for the present I am making progress. (In three months, however, I will send something to give you an idea of how I'm getting on.) But that is just the reason for me to persevere and to acquire what I need.

So do not think that I am satisfied with myself from what I say about my work - the contrary is true; but I think this much is gained: in the future when something strikes me in nature, I shall have more means than before with which to give it new vigor.
And I am not displeased that what I shall make in the future will look more attractive.

Letter 225
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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They are not bad at all

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 14 August 1882

Painting is such a joy to me. Last Saturday night I attacked a thing I had been dreaming of for a long time. It is a view of the flat green meadows, with haycocks. . . .

Then I have painted a huge mass of dune ground - thickly painted and sticky.

. . . I am sure no one could tell that they are my first painted studies.

To tell you the truth, it surprises me a little. I had expected the first things to be a failure, though I supposed they would improve later on; but though I say so myself, they are not bad at all, and I repeat, it surprises me a little.

I think the reason is that before I began to paint, I had been drawing so much and had studied perspective in order to build up the composition of the thing I saw.

Letter 225
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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I have a painter's heart

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 10-12 August 1882

I must tell you that painting does not seem so strange to me as you would perhaps suppose; on the contrary, I like it very much, as it is a very strong means of expression. And at the same time one can express tender things with it too, let a soft grey or green speak amid all the ruggedness. . . .

. . . I like it so much, Theo, that it is only because of the expenses that I shall have to restrain myself rather than urge myself on. . . .

I write you just this little word to tell you I have made a beginning. Of course the studies must get even better. I know they have many faults, but I believe that in these first ones you will already see something of the open air, which proves that I love nature and that I have a painter's heart.

Letter 224
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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I am to be able to go on working regularly

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 5 August 1882

I am so thankful that you have been here. I think it a delightful prospect to be able to work a whole year without anxiety, and a new horizon has been opened to me in painting through what you gave me.

I think I am privileged over thousands of others because you removed so many barriers for me.

Of course many a painter cannot go on because of the expenses, and I cannot express to you in words how thankful I am to be able to go on working regularly. I began later than others, and I must work doubly hard to make up for lost time; but in spite of my ardor, I should have to stop if it were not for you.

Letter 222
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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If only I work hard

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 1 August 1882

But know it well, I am far from clinging to a system or being bound by one. . . . When I see how several painters here, whom I know, have problems with their watercolors and paintings, so that they cannot bring them off I often think: friend, the fault lies in your drawing. I do not regret for one single moment that I did not go on at first with watercolor and oil painting. I am sure I shall make up for that if only I work hard, so that my hand does not falter in drawing and in the perspective.

Letter 221
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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To work for the market is not the right way

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 1 August 1882

To work for the market is in my opinion not exactly the right way, but on the contrary involves deceiving the amateurs. And true painters have not done so, rather the sympathy they received sooner or later came because of their sincerity. That is all I know about it, and I do not think I need know more. Of course it is a different thing to try to find people who like your work, and who will love it - that of course is permitted. But it must not become a speculation, that would perhaps turn out wrong and would certainly cause one to lose time that ought to be spent on the work itself.

Letter 221
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Work from nature faithfully and energetically

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 1 August 1882

Of the drawings which I will show you now I think only this: I hope they will prove to you that I am not remaining stationary in my work, but progress in a direction that is reasonable. As to the money value of my work, I do not pretend to anything else than that it would greatly astonish me if my work were not just as saleable in time as that of others. Whether that will happen now or later I cannot of course tell, but I think the surest way, which cannot fail, is to work from nature faithfully and energetically. Feeling and love for nature sooner or later find a response from people who are interested in art. It is the painter's duty to be entirely absorbed by nature and to use all his intelligence to express sentiment in his work, so that it becomes intelligible to other people.

Letter 221
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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