I shall feel my strength grow

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Nuenen, mid-November 1884

You must not suppose that I am so eager for people to approve of my work and my actions in general. On the contrary, for the moment, for instance, I am almost more glad that Mauve and Tersteeg have refused me than if it had been the reverse. Understand me well! It is because I feel within me the power to win them over in the end, notwithstanding everything.

I should not have applied to them again if I didn't feel that I had gained a fixed point by drudging these last years on the ABC of drawing and painting - drudging harder than they can imagine - and I should not have started a new fight if I didn't feel sure of the possibility of winning it.

I am not sure of the certainty of winning it, however, but I dare speculate on its chance, so I am none the worse for it now that I have begun to appeal to the public. In the very fight I shall feel my strength grow, and I shall learn more by criticism, by ill will, even by opposition, than by resignation.

Letter 386
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
Back to The Way of Vincent: Making art no matter what