I’m always in a bad fix

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Antwerp, 8-15 December 1884

I cannot get on when I must spend more on color than I receive, and I am not the least bit, literally not the least bit, better off than I was years ago, that winter in Brussels.

I do not feel faint as long as I am painting, but in the long run those intervals are always sometimes rather too melancholy, and it grieves me when I don't get on, and am always in a bad fix. Do you know, for instance, that in the whole time I've been here, I've only had three warm meals, and for the rest nothing but bread? In this way one becomes vegetarian more than is good for one.

Painting is expensive, yet one must paint a great deal.

Letter 439
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
Back to The Way of Vincent: Making art no matter what