An ordinary worker

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Antwerp, 28 December 1884

Something about my constitution that has pleased me a great deal is that a doctor in Amsterdam, with whom I once discussed a few things that sometimes made me think that I wasn't long for this world, and whose opinion I didn't ask for directly, wanting simply to gauge the first impression of someone who didn't know me at all and availing myself of a small upset I had at the time to bring the conversation round to my general constitution - I was absolutely delighted that this doctor took me for an ordinary worker, saying, "I daresay you're an ironworker by trade." That's exactly what I'd been trying to achieve - when I was younger you could tell that my mind was overwrought, and now I look like a bargee or an ironworker.

And changing one's constitution so that one gets a thick skin is no easy matter. However, I must go on being careful, try to hold on to what I have and to improve on it still.

Letter 442
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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