The "nature of things"

Vincent van Gogh to Anthon van Rappard, from The Hague, c.25-30 January 1883

Don't you think there is something very dull about our times? Or am I imagining it? A certain absence of passion and warmth and cordiality - it's true that the “dealers” and such fellows say, "The desired change will come about in the nature of things" (isn't this statement highly satisfactory?), but personally I don't see that “nature of things” so very clearly.

It isn't unpleasant, after all, to study the "Graphics"; yet I can't help thinking very selfishly while doing so, "What business is it of mine? I don't intend to be bored, even if the times are dull." But one isn't always selfish, and as soon as one isn't, one may grieve bitterly over it.

Letter R24
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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So few take an interest in them

Vincent van Gogh to Anthon van Rappard, from The Hague, c.25-30 January 1883

But isn't it queer that in an artistic town like The Hague a man like me should be the highest bidder at a book auction? One would think that other buyers would turn up - but no! I really did not expect to get them.

Before the auction the Jew spoke to me about the "Graphics"; I told him that I should very much like to have them, but that I could not afford to buy something like that. He told me afterward that he had bought them on speculation, because there were hardly any bidders, and if I wanted to have them they were mine. . . .

However glad I am to have them, it makes me sad to think that so few take an interest in them. I think it's wonderful to find such a treasure, but I would rather see so lively an interest in them that I should not be able to get hold of them for the time being.

Oh, Rappard - in many respect it's like this - much that has great value nowadays is ignored and looked down upon as worthless rubbish, garbage, wastepaper.

Letter R24
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Everything will come out all right

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 28 January 1873

Don't lose heart if it is very difficult at times, everything will come out all right and nobody can in the beginning do as he wishes.

. . . Last Sunday I was at Uncle Cor's and spent a very pleasant day there as you can imagine, and saw so many beautiful things. As you know, Uncle has just come back from Paris and brought some beautiful pictures and drawings with him. I remained in Amsterdam till Monday morning and went to see the museums again.

Letter 4
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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One learns much from them

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, c.25-29 January 1883

There is something very pleasant in the intercourse with the models, one learns much from them. This winter I have had some people whom I shall not easily forget. It is a charming saying of Edouard Frere's that he kept the same models so long that "those who used to pose for the babies, are now posing for the mothers."

Letter 262
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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The good lasts

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, c.25-29 January 1883

The world says, "Too good to last," but for that very reason, because it is rare, the good lasts. It is not produced every day, it will never be achieved mechanically, but what is, is; it is not lost, but lasts. And if another good thing turns up later on, the first retains its value so I think one must not regret that such and such doesn't become more common; even though they are uncommon, the good and beautiful things that exist remain.

Letter 262
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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This bad time must be lived through

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 26 January 1882

The last time Mauve was here, he asked me again if I needed money. I was then able to say I did not want it, but you see, in case of need, he would be willing to do something. And so though there will be some difficulties now and then, I hope we can manage to struggle through. Especially if Mr. Tersteeg would be so kind as to give me some credit in case you're unable to send me money, and when it is absolutely necessary.

You speak of fair promises - with me it is more or less the same. Mauve says it will be all right; but for all that, the watercolors I make are not quite saleable. Now I have some hope myself, and I will work hard on them, but it is often hopeless enough, for when I try to work them up, they become too heavy. It's exasperating, for it's no small difficulty. And experiments with watercolors are rather expensive - paper, paint, brushes, model, and time, and whatnot.

But even so, I think the most economical way is to keep going without losing time.

For this bad time must be lived through.

Letter 173
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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I am so angry with myself

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 26 January 1882

What I had already feared when I wrote you last has really happened, meaning that I have not been well, and have been in bed for almost three days with fever and nervousness, now and then accompanied by headache and toothache. It is a miserable condition and is caused by overexertion. Mauve has again been to see me, and once more we agreed to keep up courage through all.

But I am so angry with myself now because I cannot do what I should like to do, and at such a moment one feels as if one were lying bound hand and foot a the bottom of a deep, dark well, utterly helpless. Now I have recovered enough so that I got up again last night and rummaged around, straightening things. When the model came of her own accord this morning, though I only half expected her, I put her into the right pose with Mauve's help and tried to draw a little; but I could not do it, and I felt miserable and weak the whole evening. But if I rest a few more days, it will be over, and I need not be afraid of its coming back soon if I am careful.

Letter 173
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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In spite of everything, the sun is rising

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 22 January 1882

Yesterday I had a lesson from Mauve on drawing hands and faces so as to keep the color transparent. Mauve knows things so thoroughly, and when he tells you something, he exerts himself and doesn't just say it to hear himself talk; and I exert myself to listen carefully and to put it into practice. Yesterday I told Mauve again that it was so necessary for me to earn something, but I will not ask him for money, as he gives me something that is much better than money; and besides, he has already helped me with my furniture, and that is more than enough.

Now that I have written you, I will set to work again tomorrow full of confidence. When you were in Etten last summer, you spoke about my working in watercolors. At that point I didn't even know how to start it. Now the light is beginning to dawn, and in spite of everything, the sun is rising.

Letter 172
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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These are evil hours

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 22 January 1882

Sometimes one involuntarily becomes terribly depressed, if only for a moment, often just when one is feeling cheerful, as I really am even now. That's what happened this morning; these are evil hours when one feels quite helpless and faint with overexertion. I think it was really because I had arranged with Mauve about what I would do with a model out-of-doors, and then all at once I thought, Perhaps I cannot do it because in two days I shall not have a cent left, and than Mauve will think I was afraid. So I got up again to write you once more because I felt so anxious. Having to think about too many other things against my will hampers me so much in my work; even when I am in front of my model, I do not know how I shall pay him or whether I shall be able to go on the next day or not. And I must, I must be calm and quiet in order to work - it is difficult enough anyhow. And especially now I must keep up my spirits; but I felt so clearly this morning that my strength was failing me, not my ardor or my courage, and therefore I'm telling you once more.

I can quite imagine that you also have your difficulties, but I think some arrangement might be made with Tersteeg which would settle everything.

Letter 172
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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I feel there is a power in me

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 21 January 1882

So I have enough work for the week that begins tomorrow, but I'm afraid I haven't enough money, for 2.50 guilders and a few cents is all I have left. What should I do now? If I go and ask Mauve or Mr. Tersteeg, I do not think either would refuse me. But Mauve has already done so much, and I would rather sell a few small drawings to Mr. Tersteeg than borrow money from him. So answer me soon, and if possible do something, send me some money so that I can go on working. I feel, Theo, that there is a power in me, and I do what I can to bring it out and free it. All the worry and troubling over my drawings is hard enough, and if I had too many other cares and could not pay the models, I should lose my head. It is bad enough that you have to pay for everything, but things are not so bad as they were last winter. I feel that I am nearer success. I shall do what I can, I shall work hard, and as soon as I have more power over my brush, I shall work even harder than I do now. And if we push on energetically now, it will not be long before you need not send me money any more.

Well, boy, do what you can, and I shall also do what I can.

Letter 171
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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I work, I drudge, I grind all day long

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 21 January 1882

Now, I hope you will write me soon, and especially that we shall try to make some arrangement about the money. For though 100 fr. a month would be sufficient for my own expenses, it is quite a different matter when I have to pay models daily and must feed them, etc., etc. And then the expenses of paint, paper, etc. I told you in my last letter that whether I can work at full speed or half speed depends on my income. . . .

Believe me, I work, I drudge, I grind all day long, and I do so with pleasure; but I should get very discouraged if I could not go on working as hard or even harder. If you write to Mr. Tersteeg about it, he will certainly credit you for an amount which you yourself fix, and he can control its expenditure if he does not trust me. But it would be terrible if I couldn't go on working the way I have these last three weeks.

Letter 171
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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What's the use of a beautiful body?

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Amsterdam, 9 January 1878

Uncle Cor asked me today if I didn't like "Phryne" by Gerome. I told him that I would rather see a homely woman by Israels or Millet, or an old woman by Edouard Frere: for what's the use of a beautiful body such as Phryne's? Animals have it too, perhaps even more than men; but the soul, as it lives in the people painted by Israels or Millet or Frere, that is what animals never have. Is not life given us to become richer in spirit, even though the outward appearance may suffer? I feel very little sympathy for the figure by Gerome. I can find no sign of spirituality in it, and a pair of hands which show they have worked are more beautiful than those of this figure. The difference is greater still between such a beautiful girl and a man like Parker or Thomas a Kempis or those Meissonier painted; one can no more love and have sympathy for two such disparate things than one can serve two masters.

Uncle Cor then asked me if I should feel no attraction for a beautiful woman or girl. I answered that I would feel more attraction for, and would rather come into contact with, one who was ugly or old or poor or in some way unhappy, but who, through experience and sorrow, had gained a mind and a soul.

Letter 117
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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"Behold, I make all things new"

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Dordrecht, 21 January 1877

Last Sunday, I wrote to Mr. & Mrs. Jones to tell them that I was not coming back, and unintentionally the letter became rather long - out of the fullness of my heart. I wished them to remember me and asked them to wrap my recollection in the cloak of charity.

I have hung in my bedroom the two engravings Christus Consolator that you have given me. I saw the pictures at the museum, as well as Scheffer's "Christ in Gethsemane," which is unforgettable. Then there is a sketch of "Les Douleurs de la Terre" and several drawings, a sketch of his studio, and, as you know, the portrait of his mother. There are still other fine pictures, for instance, Achenbach and Schelfhout and Koekkoek and also a fine Allebe - an old man near the stove. Shall we look at them together someday?

The first Sunday I was here, I heard a sermon on "Behold, I make all things new." This morning I heard the Reverend Mr. Beversen in a little old church. There was Communion, and his text was: "If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink."

Letter 84
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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A phrase that haunts me

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Paris, January 1876

There is a phrase that haunts me these days - it is today's text, "His children will seek to please the poor." . . .

For several days we have had a mouse in our "cabin", which is what we call our room. Every night, we put bread on the floor for it, and it knows already where to find it.

Letter 52
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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"He is the one"

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Paris, January 1876

Thanks for your letter, write to me often, for I long to hear from you in these days. Write me at length, speak to me of your daily life, you see that I am doing the same. . . .

We feel lonely now and then and long for friends and think we should be quite different and happier if we found a friend of whom we might say: "He is the one." But you, too, will begin to learn that there is much self-deception behind this longing; if we yielded too much to it, it would lead us from the road. . . .

And now here is some news: my friend Gladwell is moving. One of the employees of the printing office convinced him to come and lodge with him; for quite a while he did everything he could to persuade him.

I know that Gladwell made this decision without thinking about it, I regret his departure very much; it will be soon, probably towards the end of the month.

Letter 52
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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I have done things very wrong

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Paris, 10 January 1876

Meanwhile something happened to me that was not entirely unforeseen.

When I saw Mr. Boussod again, I asked him His Excellence if he approved of my being employed in the house for another year, and told His Excellence that I hoped that he had nothing serious to reproach me with?

But, alas, it was the case, and His Excellence has forced me, as it were, to say that I would leave on 1st April . . . .

When the apple is ripe, a soft breeze will make it fall from the tree, and such was the case here. I have probably done things that in a certain sense have been very wrong, this is why I have never made a big thing to answer back.

Well, my boy, I am not at all clear what I should do next, but we shall try to maintain hope and courage.

Letter 50
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Most people don't admire enough

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from London, January 1874

I can see from your letter that you are taking a keen interest in art, and that's a good thing, old fellow. I'm glad you like Millet, Jacque, Schreyer, Lambinet, Frans Hals, etc., for as Mauve says, "That's it." That painting by Millet, L'angelus du soir, "that's it," indeed - that's magnificent, that's poetry. How I wish I could have another talk with you about art; but we'll just have to keep writing to each other about it. Admire as much as you can; most people don't admire enough. . . .

Do go on doing a lot of walking and keep up your love of nature, for that is the right way to understand art better and better. Painters understand nature and love her and teach us to see.

And then there are painters who never do anything that is no good, who cannot do anything bad, just as there are ordinary people who can do nothing but good.

I'm getting on very well here. I've got a delightful home and I'm finding it very pleasurable taking a look at London and the English way of life and the English people themselves, and then I've got nature and art and poetry, and if that isn't enough, what is?

Letter 13
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Keep heart

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, January 1873

I know so well how strange you must feel in the beginning, but don't lose courage, you'll get on all right. . . .

What happy days we spent together at Christmas! I think of them so often. . . . Don't forget to tell me what pictures you see and which you like best. . . .

My New Year began well; they have granted me an increase of ten guilders (I therefore earn fifty guilders per month), and they have given me a bonus of fifty guilders as a present. Isn't that splendid? I hope to be able to shift for myself now.

I am very happy that you work in the same firm. It is such a splendid house; the more one works there, the more ambition it gives you.

The beginning is perhaps more difficult than anything else, but keep heart, it will turn out all right.

Letter 3
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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The essentially modern painter

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Nuenen, 24 January 1884

Please write me some more details about the Manet exhibition; tell me which of his pictures are there. I have always found Manet's work very original. Do you know that article of Zola's on Manet? I am sorry to have seen so very few of his pictures. I should especially like to see his figures of nude women. I do not think it exaggerated that some people, for instance Zola, rave about him, though I, for my part, do not think he can be reckoned among the very first of this century. But his is a talent which certainly has its raison d'etre, and that is a great thing in itself. . . . For my part, I cannot agree with Zola's conclusions, as if Manet were a man who opens a new future to modern ideas of art; I consider Millet, not Manet, to be that essentially modern painter who opened a new horizon to many.

Letter 355
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Exactly as it was in reality

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Nuenen, 24 January 1884

You will easily understand that I love the scenery here. When you come, I shall take you into the cottages of the weavers. The figures of the weavers, and the women who wind the yarn, will certainly strike you. . . .

I am painting a loom of old, greenish, browned oak, in which the date 1730 is cut. Near that loom, in front of a little window which looks out on a green plot, there is a baby chair, and a baby sits in it, looking for hours at the shuttle flying to and fro.

I have painted that thing exactly as it was in reality, the loom with the little weaver, the little window and the baby chair in the miserable little room with the loam floor.

Letter 355
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Some way for me to earn something

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Nuenen, 18-19 January 1884

We asked the doctor again to tell us plainly what it was, and it is a fact that Mother’s thighbone is broken right beneath the joint.

You know that I was just going to pay off some debts with the money you sent. But as there will be many extra expenses, of course I told Father he was welcome to use it; the other things can wait, and it was only by chance that I had not yet sent it off. I am afraid it will be a long time before Mother recovers. . . .

Theo, think it over well, if you cannot find some way or other for me to earn something. Money will be needed, and we must also consider once more the chances of selling my work. If it were only possible for me to pay my working expenses myself, so that you could give Mother what you would otherwise give me.

I told you already that I am doing watercolors of the weavers here. I shall try to finish some.

Letter 353
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Do not deprive her for my sake

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, c.13 January 1883

Since I received your letter, what you wrote has literally filled all my thoughts. And I write once more because I am so full of it. In cases like this one is involved with a patient who is ill in body and in soul, so it is doubly serious; and financial help for the necessities of life is not enough to bring about complete recovery - the best and most efficacious remedy is love and a home. . . . To save a life is a great and beautiful thing, but it is also very difficult and requires great care.

To make a home for the homeless, yes, it must be a good thing, whatever the world may say, it cannot be wrong, and yet it is often considered a crime.

. . . As to what I wrote you about sending me a little more money - yes, I am rather hard up and wish it were possible, but do not deprive her for my sake, and know well that because of what you wrote, I will try twice as hard to make progress, so that the burden may become somewhat lighter for you. But the difficulty is that hard work costs more money because of the greater outlay.

Letter 260
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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I can hardly control it any longer

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, c.11 January 1883

Today I had to pay the rent and the three models whom I hadn't been able to pay before, and I also absolutely needed various drawing materials. I am working very hard at present, and I must not stop, but really the models eat me out of house and home.

Well, it would certainly be good if I could have something extra - would it be possible? I hesitate to ask it because of what you just wrote me about yourself, and I understand perfectly that it brings you cares, which I respect and with which I sympathize. But the thing with me is that I got somewhat in arrears by working so hard, and when I receive the money, I at once have to pay out more than half of it. I cannot live more economically than we do, I have economized wherever possible; but the work is developing, especially these last weeks, and I can hardly control it any longer - that is, the expenses it causes. Would it be possible for you to send me a little more? I think you will understand it when you see the studies. Well, forgive me for mentioning it, but I cannot do otherwise, I am in arrears for the daily expenses, and that is why I am absolutely penniless before the tenth day.

Letter 259
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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"Like an occluding light"

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, c.11 January 1883

Perseverance is the great thing in love, once it has taken hold of us. That is, if the love is returned, for if it is decidedly not returned, one is literally absolutely helpless. . . .

Today I saw photos of drawings by Barnard, figures from Dickens; at the time I saw the original drawings in London. There is a force in them as in Nicolaes Maes, for instance, but quite a modern sentiment and conception. Such things warm my heart so much, and are so cheering, because I think of the models here, how they would look if they were drawn in that way, and then of course I say to myself, "Forward!" Work on till we have quite mastered the Black and White. There is a similarity between art and love, it is like swinging between "I have had it for a long time" and "I shall never have it," as Michelet expresses it, and one passes from melancholy to animation and enthusiasm; and this will always remain so - only the oscillations become stronger. Victor Hugo speaks of "like an occluding light," and that's also a good comparison.

Letter 259
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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I see that it is progressing

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, c.11 January 1883

When you have looked at the studies for some time, I think you will find the same thing in them as in the first two sets, for there must be something of nature in them, as I literally wrested them from nature and worked after the model from beginning to end. I am very anxious to show you the studies - not because I am satisfied with my own work, but because, though I am not satisfied with it, I see that it is progressing, and that something is developing in it which will have some character.

When I came here to this town, what struck me most was, for instance, the Geest and those neighborhoods. And slowly it is taking shape - but - what a struggle to bring such a thing to an end.

Letter 259
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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We can talk about the future

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 3 January 1883

When you come sooner or later, I can show you more, and then we can talk about the future. You know well enough how unfit I am to cope with either dealers or art lovers, and how contrary it is to my nature. I should like it so much if we could always continue as we are now, but it often makes me sad to think that I must always be a burden to you. But who knows, in time you may be able to find someone who takes an interest in my work, who will take from your shoulders the burden which you took upon yourself at the most difficult time. This can only happen when it is quite evident that my work is serious, when it speaks more clearly for itself than it does now.

I myself am too fond of a very simple life to wish to change it, but later on, in order to do greater things, I shall have greater expenses, too. I think I shall always work with a model - always and always. And I must try to arrange matters so that the whole burden doesn't always fall on you.

This is only a beginning - later you will get better things from me, my boy.

Letter 257
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Something of life itself

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 3 January 1883

As to the sentiment of the drawings, I should like to know your opinion because, as I have already said, I myself cannot judge what is or isn't in them.

Or rather, it is because I myself prefer studies like these - even though they are not quite finished and many things in them have been neglected - to drawings with a definite subject: they remind me more vividly of nature itself. You will understand what I mean: there is something of life itself in the real studies, and the person who makes them will not think of himself, but of nature, and so prefer the study to what he may perhaps make of it later - unless something quite different should finally result from the many studies, namely the type distilled from many individuals.

That's the highest thing in art, and there art sometimes rises above nature - in Millet's "Sower," for instance, there is more soul than in an ordinary sower in the field. . . .

By working hard, boy, I hope to succeed in making something good. It isn't there yet, but I aim at it and struggle for it. I want something serious - something Fresh - something with soul in it! Forward - forward.

Letter 257
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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I am beginning to see a light

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 3 January 1883

I was rather worried that you might think I had begun to slacken because you had seen so little of my work recently.

On the contrary, I have been working very hard lately, and am still absorbed in all kinds of things in which I am beginning to see a light, but which I do not quite have within my grasp yet. . . .

You speak too well of me in your letter, but your thinking well of me is all the more reason for me to try not to be quite unworthy of it. And as to what I said about having made some progress by the experiments in question, perhaps I do not see my own work clearly. Perhaps it is a step forward, perhaps not - will you tell me your opinion of it in reference to the two studies I sent you, which I did recently along with a few others?

Letter 257
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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My pleasure lies in the progress of my work

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 2 January 1883

If you should find some progress in my work when you come here again, I should have no other desire than to go on in the same way I have - that is, to continue my work quietly without mixing with anybody else. When there is bread in the house and I have some money in my pocket to pay the models, what more can I want? My pleasure lies in the progress of my work, and that absorbs me more and more.

Letter 256
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Good fellowship and genuineness

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 2 January 1883

I sometimes think of the time, a year ago, when I came here to The Hague. I had imagined that the painters formed a kind of circle or society in which warmth and cordiality and a certain kind of harmony reigned. This seemed to me quite natural, and I didn't suppose it could be different.

Nor should I want to lose the ideas I had about it then, though I must modify them and distinguish between what is and what might be. I cannot believe so much coolness and disharmony is natural.

What's the reason??? I don't know and it's not my business to find out, but it's a matter of principle with me that I personally must avoid two things. First, one must not quarrel but, instead of that, try to promote peace - for others as well as for oneself. And second, my opinion is that if one is a painter, one must not try to be something other than a painter in society; as a painter, one must avoid other social ambitions and not try to keep up with the people who live in the Voorhout, Willemspark, etc. For in the old dark, smoky studios there was a good fellowship and genuineness which was infinitely better than what threatens to replace it.

Letter 256
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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I cannot judge what is practicable

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 2 January 1883

I long very much indeed to see you again. I have so many plans - not all of which will be realized, I suppose, nor will they all be failures - and I want so badly to talk them over with you because I have so little time to think them over and I am so little in touch with what is in demand that I cannot judge what is practicable. Please do not let my having done nothing saleable this year worry you; you once said the same thing to me, and if I say so now, it is because I see a few things within my reach in the future which I couldn't see before.

Letter 256
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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