Following one's nature

Vincent van Gogh to Wilhelmina van Gogh, from Paris, Summer-Fall 1887

Anyway, do weigh up carefully if those with a feeling for art, and trying to work at it, wouldn't do better to declare that they are doing it because they were born with that feeling, cannot help themselves and are following their nature, than make out they are doing it for some noble purpose. Doesn't it say in "A la Recherche du Bonheur" that evil lies in our own nature - which we have not created ourselves? I think it so admirable of the moderns that they do not moralize like the old ones. Thus many people are appalled and scandalized by "Vice and virtue are chemical products, like sugar and vitriol."

Letter W01
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Frustrated by circumstances

Vincent van Gogh to Wilhelmina van Gogh, from Paris, Summer-Fall 1887

Art often seems very exalted and, as you say, sacred. But the same can be said of love. And the only problem is that not everybody thinks about it in this way, and that those who do feel something of it, and let themselves be carried away by it, have to suffer so much, firstly because they are misunderstood, but quite as often because their inspiration is so often inadequate, or their work is frustrated by circumstances. One ought to be able to do two or even more things at once. And there are certainly times when it is far from clear to us that art should be something sacred or good.

Letter W01
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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What is in will out

Vincent van Gogh to Wilhelmina van Gogh, from Paris, Summer-Fall 1887

I don't want to be included among the melancholy or those who turn sour and bitter or ill-tempered. "To understand everything is to forgive everything," and I believe that if we knew everything we should attain some serenity. Now, having as much of that serenity as possible, even when one knows little or nothing for certain, is perhaps a better remedy for all ills than what is sold in the pharmacy. Much of it comes by itself, one grows and develops of one's own accord.

So don't study and grind away too much, for that makes one sterile. Enjoy yourself too much rather than too little, and don't take art and love too seriously - there is very little one can do about it, it is mainly a question of temperament. . . .

Anyway, it's not a bad idea for you to become an artist, for when one has fire within oneself and a soul, one cannot keep bottling them up - better to burn than to burst, what is in will out. For me, for instance, it is a relief to do a painting, and without that I should be more miserable than I am.

Letter W01
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Why is art so sacred?

Vincent van Gogh to Wilhelmina van Gogh, from Paris, Summer-Fall 1887

Why are religion or justice or art so sacred? People who do nothing but fall in love are perhaps more serious and saintly than those who sacrifice their love and their hearts to an idea. Be that as it may, in order to write a book, do a deed, paint a picture with some life in it, one has to be alive oneself. And so, unless you never want to progress, study is a matter of very secondary importance for you. Enjoy yourself as much as you can, have as many diversions as you can, and remember that what people demand in art nowadays is something very much alive, with strong color and great intensity. So intensify your own health and strength and life a little; that is the best study.

Letter W01
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Shame and disgrace

Vincent van Gogh to Wilhelmina van Gogh, from Paris, Summer-Fall 1887

And above all I find it alarming that you believe you must study in order to write. No, my dear little sister, learn how to dance, or fall in love with one or more of the notary's clerks, officers, in short, any who are within your reach - rather, much rather commit any number of follies than study in Holland. It serves absolutely no other purpose than to make people slow-witted, and I won't hear of it.

For my part, I still continue to have the most impossible and highly unsuitable love affairs, from which as a rule I come away with little more than shame and disgrace. And in my own opinion I am absolutely right to do this, since, as I keep telling myself, in years gone by, when I ought to have been in love, I gave myself up to religious and socialist affairs, and considered art holier than I do now.

Letter W01
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Providence is such a strange thing

Vincent van Gogh to Wilhelmina van Gogh, from Paris, Summer-Fall 1887

I have qualms about adopting for my own use, or about advising others to do so for theirs, the belief that there are powers above us that interfere personally in order to help or console us. Providence is such a strange thing, and I must confess that I haven't the slightest idea what to make of it. And well, there is still a degree of sentimentality in your little piece, and its form is reminiscent above all of tales about the above-mentioned providence, or let's say the providence in question. Tales that so often don't hold water, and to which a great many objections might be made.

Letter W01
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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If I were not as I am

Vincent van Gogh to Wilhelmina van Gogh, from Paris, Summer-Fall 1887

My own adventures are confined chiefly to making swift progress toward growing into a little old man - you know, with wrinkles, a tough beard and a number of false teeth, and so on. But what does all that matter? I have a dirty and difficult trade - painting, and if I were not as I am, I should not paint; but being as I am, I often work with pleasure and can visualize the vague possibility of one day doing paintings with some youth and freshness in them, even though my own youth is one of the things I have lost.

If I didn't have Theo, I should not be able to do justice to my work, but having him for a friend, I'm sure I shall make progress and things will fall into place. As soon as possible I plan to spend some time in the south, where there is even more color and even more sun.

But what I really hope to do is to paint a good portrait. So there.

Letter W01
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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We are able to take action

Vincent van Gogh to Wilhelmina van Gogh, from Paris, Summer-Fall 1887

And if, full of good intentions, we search in the books of which it is said that they illuminate the darkness, with the best will in the world we find precious little that is certain, and not always the satisfaction of personal consolation. . . .

Is the Bible enough for us? These days I think Jesus himself would say again to those who sit down in melancholy, "It is not here, it is risen. Why seek ye the living among the dead?" If the spoken or written word is to remain the light of the world, then we have the right and duty to acknowledge that we live in an age when it should be spoken and written in such a way that, if it is to be just as great and just as good and just as original and just as potent as ever to transform the whole of society, then its effect must be comparable to that of the revolution wrought by the old Christians.

I, for my part, am always glad that I have read the Bible more carefully than many people do nowadays, just because it gives me some peace of mind to know that there used to be such lofty ideals.

But precisely because I find the old beautiful, I find the new even more beautiful because we are able to take action in our own time while the past and the future concern us only indirectly.

Letter W01
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Unwilling to relinquish self-confidence

Vincent van Gogh to Wilhelmina van Gogh, from Paris, Summer-Fall 1887

By far the greatest number of grains of corn do not develop fully but end up at the mill - isn't this so? To compare human beings with grains of corn, now - in every human being who is healthy and natural there is a germinating force, just as there is in a grain of corn. And so natural life is germination. What the germinating force is to the grain, love is to us.

Now we tend to stand about pulling a long face and at a loss for words, I think, when, thwarted in our natural development, we find that germination has been foiled and we ourselves placed in circumstances as hopeless as they must be for a grain between the millstones.

When that happens to us and we are utterly bewildered by the loss of our natural life, there are some amongst us who, though ready to submit to the inevitable, are yet unwilling to relinquish their self-confidence, and determine to discover what is the matter with them and what is really happening.

Letter W01
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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An adventurer by fate

Vincent van Gogh to Horace M. Livens, from Paris, August-October 1886

But for the present things are awfully hard. Therefore let anyone who risks to go over here consider there is no laying on roses at all.

What is to be gained is progress and what the deuce that is, it is to be found here. I dare say as certain anyone who has a solid position elsewhere let him stay where he is. But for adventurers as myself, I think they lose nothing in risking more. Especially as in my case I am not an adventurer by choice but by fate, and feeling nowhere so much myself a stranger as in my family and country.

Letter 459a
Written in English.
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I feel my own self more

Vincent van Gogh to Horace M. Livens, from Paris, August-October 1886

With regard my chances of sale look here, they are certainly not much but still I do have a beginning.

At the present moment I have found four dealers who have exhibited studies of mine. And I have exchanged studies with many artists.

Now the prices are 50 francs. Certainly not much - but - as far as I can see one must sell cheap to rise and even at costing price. And mind my dear fellow, Paris is Paris. There is but one Paris and however hard living may be here, and if it became worse and harder even - the French air clears up the brain and does good - a world of good. I have been in Cormon's studio for three or four months but I did not find that so useful as I had expected it to be. It may be my fault however, anyhow I left there too as I left Antwerp and since I worked alone, and fancy that since I feel my own self more.

Letter 459a
Written in English.
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Finding friends

Vincent van Gogh to Horace M. Livens, from Paris, August-October 1886

And so I am struggling for life and progress in art.

Now I would very much like to know what you are doing and whether you ever think of going to Paris.

If ever you did come here, write to me before and I will, if you like, share my lodgings and studio with you so long as I have any. In spring - say February or even sooner I may be going to the South of France, the land of the blue tones and gay colors.

And look here, if I knew you had longings for the same we might combine.

I felt sure at the time that you are a thorough colorist and since I saw the impressionists I assure you that neither your color nor mine as it is developing itself, is exactly the same as their theories. But so much dare I say we have a chance and a good one finding friends.

Letter 459a
Written in English.
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…and not let anything crush us

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Nuenen, late August 1885

Really, when I think of my own experience, when I think how my working for some years at Goupil & Co.'s ended in my being drawn very strongly toward home, when I think how there followed for me an absolutely bewildering crisis which soon left me entirely alone, and how everything and everybody I had formerly relied upon changed completely and left me high and dry. When I think of those melancholy times, I am so afraid that the present will prove to be no firm ground under your feet. . . . I speak as somebody who has known strife and is still in the midst of the fight. Well with every new year time seems to go more quickly, more things seem to happen, things go in a greater rush.

I say this without beating about the bush in order to show you that, in case things were to change for you, I should think it the most natural and comprehensible thing in the world, and far from wanting to reproach you with anything, I should propose that we undertake more things together, and not let anything crush us, either of us. On the contrary, we should both show that our hearts are full of vim and energy - and love of art of a sterling quality.

I often have to fight against rather serious troubles, instead of being prosperous, quite the opposite.

Well - but the more unfavorable outward circumstances become, the more the inner resources, that is the love for the work, increase. And if no new resources, yet new - renewed - chances will offer themselves.

Letter 422
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Even bolder things

Vincent van Gogh to Anthon van Rappard, from Nuenen, second half of August 1885

When I tell you - and I mean it - that I want to remain friends with you, it is because I observe in you an endeavor which I highly esteem. You penetrate the heart of the common people deeply, and you have the will power to carry it through. When I say that we may be useful and give support to each other, I say so because, if you don't give in to convention, you will probably, when you are better known, do even bolder things.

Letter R57
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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The indifference

Vincent van Gogh to Anthon van Rappard, from Nuenen, second half of August 1885

I know too well what my ultimate goal is, and I am too firmly convinced of being on the right road after all, to pay much attention to what people say of me - when I want to paint what I feel and feel what I paint.

Nevertheless it makes life difficult at times, and - I think it quite possible that later on some fellows will regret either the things they said of me or the opposition and indifference which they have pestered me with. The way I see it is this: I withdraw from people to such an extent that I literally don't meet anybody except - the poor peasants - with whom I am directly concerned because I paint them.

And this will remain my policy, and it is quite possible that I shall give up my studio before long and go live in a peasant's cottage, so as not to hear or see educated people - as they call themselves - any longer.

Letter R57
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Despite all my faults

Vincent van Gogh to Anthon van Rappard, from Nuenen, second half of August 1885

And as regards technique, I am still searching for many things; and though I happen to find some of them, still there are an infinite number of things wanting. But for all that I know why I work as I do, and my efforts are planted on solid ground.

I said to Wenkebach only the other day that I did not know any painter who had as many faults as I do - but for all that I was not convinced that I am radically wrong. . . .

And yet I believe that - even if I go on producing work in which people can point out errors - when they want to, if this is their special purpose and point of view - it will still have a certain vitality and raison d'etre of its own that will hurl the errors into the shade - in the eyes of those who appreciate character and the spiritual conception of things. And it will not be so easy to confound me as they think, despite all my faults. I know too well what my ultimate goal is, and I am too firmly convinced of being on the right road after all, to pay much attention to what people say of me - when I want to paint what I feel and feel what I paint.

Letter R57
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Always doing what I can't do yet

Vincent van Gogh to Anthon van Rappard, from Nuenen, second half of August 1885

The work in question, the painting of peasants, is such a hard job that the utterly weak won't even attempt it.

And at least I have attempted it, and I have laid certain foundations, which is not exactly the easiest part of the job! And in drawing as well as in painting I can sometimes keep hold of certain solid and useful things, a firmer hold than you think, amice. But I am always doing what I can't do yet in order to learn how to do it. But writing you about this bores me. So I'll end by saying that the work is difficult, and that, instead of quarreling, the fellows who paint peasants and the common people would do wisely to join hands as much as possible. Union is strength, and what we have to fight against is not each other but those fellows who, even in the present period, are obstructing the progress of the ideas which Millet and others of a past generation fought for and which they pioneered. Nothing is a greater hindrance than this fatal fighting among ourselves.

Letter R57
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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My conviction is a part of myself

Vincent van Gogh to Anthon van Rappard, from Nuenen, second half of August 1885

And as for other questions - I cannot always keep quiet under it; now and then it seems to me as though people were touching my body, so much do I feel taken up by the question, and so much is my conviction a part of myself.

. . . My other work proves so clearly that I render what I see that people cannot be justified, or speaking in good faith, when they judge my work otherwise than as a whole and in a broader way, taking into account my purpose and endeavor - namely to paint le paysan chez soi, peasants in their surroundings.

Now you call the aggregate of my work utterly weak, and you demonstrate at great length that its deficiencies exceed its good qualities.

Thus about my work, thus about my person.

Well, I won't accept this - never.

Letter R57
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Total annihilation

Vincent van Gogh to Anthon van Rappard, from Nuenen, second half of August 1885

For the rest - you will experience it yourself - it is less a golden age than an iron age for painters - I mean, it is not exactly easy for them to keep alive - no more than that. At least as far as I am concerned it is open misery - but despite that my courage, and perhaps my powers too, are greater rather than smaller than they were before. Don't think you're the only one who considers or considered it his duty to criticize me, you know, even to the limits of total annihilation; on the contrary, it's about the only thing I have encountered so far. For the very reason that you are, or were, not the only one to speak in this way and no other, your criticism is connected with other criticism to which I on my part oppose the conviction that my endeavors have a raison d'etre, and to which I shall continue to oppose it more and more strongly.

Letter R57
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Union is strength

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Nuenen, second half of August 1885

As to Rappard, I just wrote to him, I want him to retract completely what he has written. But you see, Theo, how much depends on being consistent in one's work.

I wrote Rappard that actually we have to fight other things than each other, and that at this moment those painting rural life and the life of the people must join hands because union is strength.

At any rate, one cannot do it alone; a whole group that is of the same mind can do more. You too must be of good courage, for perhaps we shall make more friends and then will become more animated, and perhaps the mutual discord will change into a peasant uprising against the kind of painters one finds on every jury nowadays, who, if they could, would even now obstruct the ideas which Millet pioneered.

Letter 415
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Only by perseverance do we have a chance

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Nuenen, second half of August 1885

But I know for sure that I will get the figures even better if only I have some luck with the money and can continue working on them at full speed; but that is what rather worries me, and for this month I am absolutely cleaned out. I am literally without a penny.

We shall have hard times; it is not all my fault, but only by perseverance do we have a chance to reap, after some time, what we are sowing. . . .

One must not call it engaging in a hopeless struggle, for others have won, and we shall win too.

Letter 415
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Downright starvation

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Nuenen, mid August 1885

So, in short - work hard - but at the same time try to work sensibly. The trouble you have taken along with me - for furnishing money is taking trouble too, and I don't in the least try to get away from it - this trouble anyway has been an act of personal initiative, of personal will and energy - but what shall I have to say and think of it if there is nothing to compensate for the gradual but undeniable weakening of financial aid?

In my opinion, at least, now is just the moment to try to do something with my work. . . .

You told me yourself, "Where there's a will there's a way." Well, I am going to take you at your word a little, at least as to your really wanting us to make progress together.

If I were to demand extravagant things and you refused - well, all right then - but when it is a question of the most urgent, the very simplest necessities of life, and it is increasingly and ever more badly becoming downright starvation, only then do I think you go too far in your economizing, and that in this respect it is far from useful.

Letter 420
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Art itself is solid enough

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Nuenen, mid August 1885

I go on insisting that it is fatal that your energy has manifestly taken another direction, instead of being turned to making a success of painting for both of us. And yet it is only a very short time ago that you wrote you had more confidence now, and that my work was good.

In my opinion you don't in the least belong among the rising men. Resent this if you like. Though you say today, "I am selling to the tune of 500,000 fr. a year" - this does not impress me the least little bit, as I am too much convinced of the difficulty of keeping it up.

It is too high up in the air for my taste, too little on solid ground. And, after all, art itself is solid enough.

I wish you were or would become a painter.

Letter 420
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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We must try energetically to push forward

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Nuenen, c. 7 August 1885

And to you I speak, and I shall go on speaking, as one person dealing in pictures to another person dealing in pictures, and I will not trespass on the other territory.

And the question I started discussing with you is that however great the depression may be, and however much trouble we shall have to take, we must try energetically to push forward the little painting business that belongs to you as much as to me.

I say it may be a lifeboat which may be of use to you in the tempest, although I don't wish for this tempest any more than you can wish for it.

Letter 419b
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Something will and shall come of it

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Nuenen, c. 7 August 1885

With this letter I cry out to you once more that my request for reinforcement may prove to be in both our interests, and I do not make it out of selfishness, as you suppose. . . . I should not cry out to you without necessity. I am not afraid in the midst of danger either, but I try to be ready at the moment of distress.

It may be that you don't think it reasonable of me to insist on my - and I should much prefer to say our - little painting business becoming the center of a larger business which we might undertake together later on; but I for my part persist in claiming that something will and shall come of it, if only we remain sufficiently united.

If I haven't the same ideas as you, don't suspect me of bad faith or of evil intentions.

Letter 419b
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Neither am I desperate

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Nuenen, c. 7 August 1885

Let me give you this hint: don't consider this painting business of mine a burden, and don't treat it in a stepmotherly way, because it may prove to be a little lifeboat when the big ship is wrecked. My hint is now, and will be in the future: Let's try and keep the little boat trim and seaworthy, whether the tempest comes, or my uneasiness proves unfounded. . . .

If you doubt the good faith of this request, then the only thing for me to do is to repeat it even more urgently. For I perceive that in the matter of my color bill my little vessel is leaking here and there. However, I am trying to stop these leaks to the best of my ability, and I have not lost my self-command yet. Neither am I desperate. But considering that both of us may be overtaken by the same tempest, I am speaking concretely and, as far as I can see, in our mutual interest.

Letter 419b
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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I am rather busy

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Nuenen, 6 August 1885

Just a line to welcome you. . . .

I am rather busy, as they are reaping the corn in the fields, for, as you know, this lasts only a few days, and it is one of the most beautiful things.

But I will take care to be in the studio between 3 and 5. . . .

You must not be offended when I go on with my work.

Letter 419
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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I don't ask high prices

Vincent van Gogh to Mr. Furnee, from Nuenen, 3 August 1885

I work too hard to believe that I work in vain. . . .

I buy nearly everything cash down and I regulate my requirements so much in accordance with my ready money that now and then weeks pass without my spending a single guilder except on bread. . . . I have no friends - and yet I tell you, do not despair of getting your money!

But could you manage to show some of my work at The Hague? That would be the best thing, and in this way you would serve your own interests as well as mine. I don't ask high prices, and the amount in question is not big. And therefore I suggest you try it. I haven't any money, less than ever before, as this is a period in which I am making myself independent of all subsidies.

Letter 419a
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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I myself have to wait

Vincent van Gogh to Mr. Furnee, from Nuenen, 3 August 1885

At present I need colors quite as much as money.

As I am very much afraid of being in debt, I do not run up high bills, I buy very little and only cash down, and I use only the colors I get brayed here.

If I am forced to let you wait, it is because I have to wait even worse myself.

As for drawing a bill of exchange, I tell you emphatically that I do not appeal to your clemency, that you would, however, have to take extreme measures, and I add that it would be to my advantage, as I possess literally nothing but my tools. . . .

I offer you my apologies for all this, but the circumstances I related are my excuse. However, I am not doing so badly, and above all things you should not despair of getting your money; it will be all right, but I myself have to wait worse and longer than you.

Letter 419a
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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My only means of paying you

Vincent van Gogh to Mr. Furnee, from Nuenen, 3 August 1885

I have only one thing, and that is steadily improving: I mean my pictures and my drawings.

What I hear people say about them is good as well as bad, and they can all think whatever they like of them. But as for the present case - seeing that they represent my only means of paying you, what do you want? . . .

Do you want me to send you some of my work, so that you will be able to show it to art lovers?

There is nothing I should like better. . . .

I don't think you will be the loser if you try to achieve some success with my paintings. I am willing to send you a number of them, and perhaps they will not disappoint you. It might mean that I should not only be able to pay you, but also to buy even more colors.

Letter 419a
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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I have only one thing

Vincent van Gogh to Mr. Furnee, from Nuenen, 3 August 1885

Perhaps you know that until now I have received financial help from my brother, who is an art dealer in Paris. I am making progress with my work, and the chances of selling are better than they used to be; but at the same time this is the very moment when financial assistance from others has been completely discontinued, and I am exclusively dependent on my own work. . . .

And look here - suppose you draw a bill of exchange on me, well, I cannot pay cash; if I have it, it will be 10 guilders one time and 5 guilders another, and to earn these I shall have to pay for canvas, colors, brushes again. So if you should demand payment, you would have to resort to extreme measures (if you should insist on ready money), i.e. selling my furniture and my other possessions. . . .

So what will you gain by doing this? If you really want to, I should not much care, but it would most decidedly not bee the way to get your money; but if you will wait, I will pay you in full. . . .

I have only one thing, and that is steadily improving: I mean my pictures and my drawings.

Letter 419a
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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