Just slap anything on

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Nuenen, October 1884

Just slap anything on when you see a blank canvas staring you in the face like some imbecile. You don't know how paralyzing that is, that stare of a blank canvas is, which says to the painter, You can’t do a thing. The canvas has an idiotic stare and mesmerizes some painters so much that they turn into idiots themselves. Many painters are afraid in front of the blank canvas, but the blank canvas is afraid of the real, passionate painter who dares and who has broken the spell of "you can't" once and for all.

Life itself, too, is forever turning an infinitely vacant, dispiriting blank side towards man on which nothing appears, any more than it does on a blank canvas. But no matter how vacant and vain, how dead life may appear to be, the man of faith, of energy, of warmth, who knows something, will not be put off so easily. He wades in and does something and stays with it, in short, he violates, "defiles" - they say. Let them talk, those cold theologians.

Letter 378
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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One must not be afraid

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Nuenen, October 1884

Oh, Theo, why should I change - I used to be very passive and very gentle and quiet - I'm that no longer, but then I'm no longer a child either now - sometimes I feel my own man.

Take Mauve, why is he quick-tempered and difficult to get on with at times? I haven't come as far as he has, but I, too shall go further than I am now.

I tell you, if one wants to be active, one must not be afraid of going wrong, one must not be afraid of making mistakes now and then. Many people think that they will become good just by doing no harm - but that's a lie, and you yourself used to call it that. That way lies stagnation, mediocrity.

Letter 378
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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That icy coldness

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Nuenen, October 1884

Read Zola's description of women in a room in the twilight - most of the women aged between 30 and 50 - such a sombre, mysterious place. I find it splendid, indeed sublime.

But to me, Millet's Angelus is just as sublime, with that same twilight, that same infinite emotion - or that single figure of Breton's in the Luxembourg, or his "Source." . . .

Oh, I am no friend of present-day Christianity, though its Founder was sublime - I have seen through present-day Christianity only too well. That icy coldness hypnotized even me, in my youth - but I have taken my revenge since then. How? By worshiping the love which they, the theologians, call sin, by respecting a whore, etc., and not too many would-be respectable, pious ladies. To some, woman is heresy and diabolical. To me she is just the opposite.

Letter 378
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Something "awful"

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Drenthe, 29 October 1883

What is before you is something terrible, something "awful" - those things are so inexpressible that I can find no words for them; and if I were not your brother and your friend, who considers being silent ungrateful as well as inhuman, I should say nothing. But seeing that you say, First, inspire me with courage, and second, do not flatter me, I say now, Look, I see all these things here on the silent moor, where I feel God high above you and me.

Letter 337
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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The Last Word

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Drenthe, 29 October 1883

One is not sure of things all at once, one cannot foresee things except very vaguely, but there is something called conscience after all, a kind of compass by which one can distinguish between this direction and that - between North and South - between right and left - at least broadly speaking. Which means - notwithstanding fortuitous currents and certain deceptively inviting coasts - being able to say, This is not the right course for me after all. And look, earning money in Paris, even for others' sakes, would, seem to me such a deceptive fata morgana: a coast that recedes more and more when you approach to make a landing there, at the same time causing you to be driven farther and farther off your course.

I see everything except fatality against painting; for Paris I see everything except fatality!

Fatality, in which with an unutterable feeling I see God, Who is the White Ray of Light, and Who has the last word; what is not good through and through is not good at all, and will not last - He, in Whose eyes even the Black Ray will have no plausible meaning.

Letter 337
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Fix the heart on high

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Drenthe, 29 October 1883

In short, Theo, I have a vague but firm feeling that it is our first duty to fix the heart on high, and this feeling forces me to recommend to you, brother to brother, friend to friend, preparing yourself for a life based on simpler principles. Principles which I am unable to define for others, but which I feel; one can hardly imagine duty commanding one to do business in Paris; rather, it will induce one to retire from it.

Can you share these feelings to a certain extent? Think it over, deliberate on it; if you want time, search your heart, and take your time. All hesitation based on the objection "I am not an artist" seems reasonable to me only as long as you do not prevent yourself from becoming one. To what degree we are or are not artists, neither we ourselves nor others can definitely ascertain. However, the How-to-do-it system entails saying, I shall do my best to do it, without asking any such questions; on the other hand, it seems to me that it is the How-NOT-to-do-it system which says, "I know in advance I shall not be able to do it."

Letter 337
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Our aim is walking with God

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Drenthe, 29 October 1883

Our purpose is in the first place self-reform by means of a handicraft and of intercourse with nature, believing as we do that this is our first duty in order to be honest with others and to be consistent - our aim is walking with God - the opposite of living in the midst of the doings of the big cities.

We shall not harm anybody by this.

Though some people may think it hypocritical to say so, our belief is that God will help those who help themselves, as long as they turn their energy and attention in this direction, and set to work to this end.

I see that Millet believed more and more firmly in "Something on High." He spoke of it in a way quite different than, for instance, Father does. He left it more vague, but for all that, I see more in Millet's vagueness than in what Father says. And I find that same quality of Millet's in Rembrandt, in Corot - in short, in the work of many, though I must not and cannot expatiate on this. The end of things need not be the power to explain them, but basing oneself effectively upon them.

Letter 337
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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A hard life with a purpose

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Drenthe, 29 October 1883

I see that Paris will put you into what I would call a crooked position in regard to your own duty. Leaving your being useful to others out of it for the moment, seeing that I do not know if in the long run I myself should remain truly firm, because you are directing the simpler minds of others toward Paris, a thought which will disturb exactly these people because they might be intoxicated by it.

Understand clearly what I say: Until now everything has had its reason, but now the signs of the times suggest a change of direction, as I see it, in a way quite different from and far more decisive than anything in the past.

There is no question of slackening or giving in here; on the contrary, in this there is an attacking the calamity at the core: the same energetic principle as that of sowing superior plants in better soil.

The calamity leaves us our old courage and our old earnest energy. Let the world say venomously what it cannot refrain from saying; it will leave you and me cold. On the contrary, we are counting on the possibility of a hard life which will have a purpose other than earning as much money as possible.

Letter 337
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Radical renewal

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Drenthe, 29 October 1883

To me painting is too logical, too reasonable, too straightforward to allow me personally ever to change my course. Besides, you yourself helped me realize the idea of a handicraft, and I know that basically it is your idea too, so I think we ought to cooperate from now on.

My reason, my conscience, compel me to tell you what is partially your own view too; there is nothing to fall back on but a radical renewal.

I do not wish to flatter you, all right, I do not flatter. As to rousing your courage, yes, I dare to, I dare rouse the very highest courage and serenity in you, but only as regards painting.

As far as I can see, going on in Paris, even if you were able to stick it out for many years, will not grant you peace, and there would not be so much opportunity for being as useful to others as if you were a painter.

Letter 337
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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A very clear duty

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Drenthe, 29 October 1883

Leave the sinking ship, and concentrate your mind and energy, not on clinging to your present position, but on creating something wholly new. For a long time your duty has seemed too complicated to me; your duty ought to be something simple, and your present duty would grow more and more involved and doubtful, leaving the question of whether I think it is really and truly your duty out of it. By starting to paint, you will find a very clear duty and a very simple, straight path for your feet.

My idea is that going on in your present situation would prove to be not only more and more unbearable, but also less and less profitable. . . . I do not say that you and I will get rich together, but in any case we shall be able to preserve our aplomb and our balance, although - I cannot deny this - we shall have a very hard time of it during the first few years.

Letter 337
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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The risk of going on

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Drenthe, 29 October 1883

In short, there are limits, and my intuition tells me you have almost reached that point.

Look here - as regards now or never - making oneself scarce or disappearing, neither you nor I should ever do that, no more than commit suicide.

I too have my moments of deep melancholy, but I say again, both you and I ought to regard the idea of disappearing or making oneself scarce as becoming neither you nor me.

And notwithstanding all, one should take the risk of going on, even when one feels that it is impossible, of going on with the desperate feeling that it will end in disappearance - but on the other hand, in our consciences there is that "beware!!!"

Letter 337
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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This White Light

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Drenthe, 29 October 1883

When I think of Father, it seems to me that the good in him is due to his intercourse with nature, and in my opinion his error is that he attaches more value to other things than they are really worth.

Father never knew, and does not know now, and never will know what the soul of modern civilization is. What is it? The eternal quality in the greatest of the great: simplicity and truth. . . . For me he is the rayon noir. Why isn't he a rayon blanc? - this is the only fault I find in Father. True, it is a great fault - I cannot help it. And listen to what I say: Try to find the rayon blanc, but blanc, do you hear?

I do not say - far, very far be it from me to say - that I myself have the rayon blanc, but I am not ashamed to say that it exists, this White Light - and that I seek it, and only this do I consider simplicity.

Letter 339a
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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As you are, so you paint

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Drenthe, 29 October 1883

I am so deeply convinced of your artistic talent that to me you will be an artist as soon as you take up a brush or a piece of crayon and, adroitly or maladroitly, make something.

Before you are able to express yourself, that is, your plain-thinking virile soul - peaceful, good - before you can express this in your work, quite a lot of things must happen; but it will come, for as you are, so you paint - not in the beginning, assuredly, if one is good.

Letter 339a
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Risk

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Drenthe, 29 October 1883

I have no patience with "so-called" common sense (a spurious article, unutterably different from the genuine one) one is told to use, and which they say one does not use as soon as one deviates from the ordinary course and takes a risk. I repeat, I have no patience with it. I have no patience with it for the very reason that my own natural common sense, if I reflect, leads me to wholly different results than the conclusion of narrow-minded worldly wisdom and prudent, halfhearted righteousness.

Oh, that dawdling, oh, those hesitations, oh, that not believing that good is good, that black is black, that white is white.

Letter 339a
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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A new and sure ground

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Drenthe, 29 October 1883

One feels things to be wretched and much too distorted, and however peaceful and cheerful and full of serenity one's natural disposition may be, one feels that this cannot be otherwise - but then I ask, what is more practical than telling yourself: If I don't do anything about it, I shall lose my energy and strength of mind; I am going to refresh, to rejuvenate myself in nature; I am going to attack things in a new way, and I will arrange my life in such a way that, let's say, in a few years I shall have quite new and sure ground under my feet.

Letter 339a
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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This hopeless absurdity of public opinion

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Drenthe, 29 October 1883

And when speaking of your being a painter, they would describe your state of mind as that of a dreamer, imagining himself on a bed of roses. I ask you, what do those who represent things that way know? But people being what they are, this is only one of their enormities and not even the worst by a long shot. This hopeless absurdity of public opinion makes it only natural for one to want to avoid the world.

Letter 339a
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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More than ordinary patience

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Drenthe, 29 October 1883

I feel my own incurable melancholy, caused by certain developments in the past, and then they want to tell me that my mood is "the rash fanaticism of youth"! Far, very far from it. In your mood one is "in damned earnest," as the English say. You do not expect to find something soft or sweet, no, you know that you are in for a fight against something like a rock, no, you know that it is impossible to conquer nature and to make her more amenable without a terrible struggle and without more than ordinary patience.

Letter 339a
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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They would think it madness

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Drenthe, 29 October 1883

And I believe not being absolutely alone does a lot of good, as one is apt to become absorbed in one's work; but this should not lead to losing one's way, and by taking each other's advice the right way can be followed steadily. If you talked it over with other people, they would say, What are you thinking of? - how wild a venture to give up this, that and the other! In short, they would think it madness - a blunder. As for myself, I find wildness in a conception of life other than the one I am talking about - i.e. being a painter - I think it wildly reckless to tie oneself down irrevocably to the city and the affairs of the city. They will tell you that you are a fanatic, but most certainly you - after having undergone so many mental trials - will know that it is impossible for you to be fanatical, for you are in a period of disenchantment. Don't let them try to turn things upside down, that won't do for me!

Letter 339a
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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One cannot lose one's way

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Drenthe, 29 October 1883

This is my firm belief. Whether one is more or less clever at the start, whether one has the advantage of favorable circumstances to a greater or to a lesser extent, is, to my way of thinking, far from being the main thing. One should start with the conviction that one is in need of intercourse with nature, with the conviction that one cannot lose one's way by taking this road, and that one's course will be straight. And ... there is that other important thing: if one should have an easy time of it, like a man living on his private means, it would be of very little help; the very fact that there is many a hard day and many an "effort of lost souls" will make one a better man.

Letter 339a
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Having a handicraft

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Drenthe, 29 October 1883

What life I think best, oh, without the least shadow of a doubt it is a life consisting of long years of intercourse with nature in the country - and Something on High - inconceivable, "awfully unnamable" - for it is impossible to find a name for that which is higher than nature. Be a peasant - be, if it could be considered possible nowadays, a village clergyman or a schoolmaster - be - and in my opinion this ought to be thought of first, the present times being what they are - be a painter, and as a human being, after a number of years of living in the country and of having a handicraft, as a human being you will in the course of these years gradually become something better and deeper in the end.

Letter 339a
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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A revolution

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Drenthe, 28 October 1883

I don't suppose I'm telling you anything at all new, I only ask, Don't thwart your own best thoughts. Think that idea over with a certain good-humored optimism instead of looking at things gloomily and pessimistically. I see that even Millet, just because he was so serious, couldn't help keeping good courage. . . .

Those who seek real simplicity are themselves so simple, and their view of life is so full of willingness and courage, even in hard times.

Think these things over, write me about them. It must be "A revolution that is, because it must be."

Letter 336
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Look forward to victory

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Drenthe, 28 October 1883

If there were only half a possibility, I believe you would do well to risk the venture. I do not think you would ever regret it. You would be able to develop the best that is in you, and have a more peaceful life altogether. Neither of us would be alone, our work would merge. In the beginning we should have to live through anxious moments, we should have to prepare ourselves for them, and take measures to overcome them; we should not be able to go back, we should not look back nor be able to look back; on the contrary, we should force ourselves to look ahead. But it's in this period that we shall be far removed from all our friends and acquaintances, we shall fight this fight without anybody seeing us, and this will be the best thing that can happen, for then nobody will hinder us. We shall look forward to victory - we feel it in our very bones. We shall be so busy working that we shall be absolutely unable to think of anything else but our work.

Letter 336
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Learn patience

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Drenthe, 28 October 1883

There is a saying of Gustave Dore's which I have always admired, "I have the patience of a cow," I find a certain goodness in it, a certain resolute honesty - in short, that saying has a deep meaning, it is the word of a real artist. When one thinks of the man from whose heart such a saying sprang, all those oft-repeated art dealer's arguments about "natural gifts" seem to become an abominably discordant raven's croaking. "I have patience" - how quiet it sounds, how dignified; they wouldn't even say it except for that very raven's croaking. I am not an artist - how coarse it sounds - even to think so of oneself - oughtn't one to have patience, oughtn't one to learn patience from nature, learn patience from seeing the corn slowly ripen, seeing things grow - should one think oneself so absolutely dead as to imagine that one would not grow any more? Should one thwart one's own development on purpose? I say this to explain why I think it so foolish to speak about natural gifts and no natural gifts.

Letter 336
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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One is one's own horse

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Drenthe, 28 October 1883

I know the soul's struggle of two people: Am I a painter or not? Of Rappard and of myself - a struggle, hard sometimes, a struggle which accurately marks the difference between us and certain other people who take things less seriously; as for us, we feel wretched at times; but each bit of melancholy brings a little light, a little progress; certain other people have less trouble, work more easily perhaps, but then their personal character develops less. . . .

If you hear a voice within you saying, "You are not a painter," then by all means paint, boy, and that voice will be silenced, but only by working. He who goes to friends and tells his troubles when he feels like that loses part of his manliness, part of the best that's in him; your friends can only be those who themselves struggle against it, who raise your activity by their own example of action. One must undertake it with confidence, with a certain assurance that one is doing a reasonable thing, like the farmer drives his plow, and even drags the harrow himself. If one hasn't a horse, one is one's own horse.

Letter 336
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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A fight to free ourselves

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Drenthe, 28 October 1883

Well, if this were mere speculation, I should not want to think of it - but in this case it means a fight to free ourselves from the world of conventions and speculation. It is something good, something peaceful, an honest enterprise. Most certainly it will be our intention to try to earn our bread, but only in the literal sense of the word. Money, as far as it is not used for the absolute necessaries of life, leaves us cold. We shall do nothing we need be ashamed of; with what Carlyle calls "quite a royal feeling," we shall be able to roam about in nature freely, and to work - we shall be able to work, because we are honest. We shall say, when we were children we made a mistake, or rather, We had to obey, and do certain things to earn our bread. Later such and such things happened, and then we thought it advisable to turn handicraftsmen. Because certain things were too puffed up. If you should talk this over with other people, they would advise against it unanimously, I think . . . .

Letter 336
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Damned serious

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Drenthe, 28 October 1883

Whatever may be said of the art world, it is not rotten. On the contrary, it has improved and improved, and perhaps the summit has already been reached; but at all events we are still quite near it, and as long as you and I live, though we might reach the age of a hundred, there will be a certain real vitality. So he who wants to paint - must put his shoulder to the wheel. . . .

One should begin by saying with all possible courage, gaiety, enthusiasm, I know none of us can do a thing, but for all that, we are painters. Our wanting in itself means action. This is what I believe should be the main idea. We are alive - if we do not work "like so many Negroes," we shall die of want, and we shall cut a most ridiculous figure. However, we happen to abhor this mightily - because of that same thing which I call surprising youthfulness - and in addition, a seriousness that is damned serious.

That...to put his skin into it.

Letter 336
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Aim at the very heart of the profession

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Drenthe, 28 October 1883

It seems to me that you, who are very young, do not act recklessly when you argue, I have had enough of the art-dealing business but not of art; I'll drop the business, and aim at the very heart of the profession.

That is what I ought to have done at the time.

Letter 336
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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I should be more myself

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Drenthe, 28 October 1883

I know all these things have a perilous money side, but what I say is, let's weaken this perilous money side as much as possible, in the first place by not being under its sway too long, and then by feeling that if one will only set about things with love, with a certain understanding of each other and cooperation and mutual helpfulness, many things which would otherwise be insupportable would be softened - yes, even totally changed.

As for me, if I could find some people whom I could talk to about art, who felt for it and wanted to feel for it - I should gain an enormous advantage in my work - I should feel more myself, be more myself. If there is enough money to keep us going in the very first period, by the time it is gone I shall be earning money.

Letter 336
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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A spark of genius

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Drenthe, 28 October 1883

Live - do something - that is more amusing, that is more positive. In short - one must of course give Society its due, but at the same time feel absolutely free, believing not in one's own judgment, but in "reason" (my judgment is human, reason is divine, but there is a link between the one and the other), and that my own conscience is the compass which shows me the way, although I know that it does not work quite accurately.

I should like to refer to the fact that, whenever I recall the past generation of painters, I remember an expression of yours, "they were surprisingly gay." What I want to say is that, if you become a painter, you should do it with this same surprising gaiety. You will need this to offset the gloomy circumstances. It will be a greater help to you than anything else. What you want is a spark of genius; I know no other word for it, but what I mean is the exact opposite of "being ponderous," as people call it. Please don't tell me that neither you nor I could have this. I say this because I am of the opinion that we must do our best to become like that; I do not claim that either I myself or you have sufficiently captured it - but what I say is, Let's do our best to get it.

Letter 336
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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I shall do as I think best

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Drenthe, 28 October 1883

Is it a loss to drop some notions, impressed on us in childhood, that maintaining a certain rank or certain conventions is the most important thing? I myself do not even think about whether I lose by it or not. I know only by experience that those conventions and ideas do not hold true, and often are hopelessly, fatally wrong. I come to the conclusion that I do not know anything, but at the same time that this life is such a mystery that the system of "conventionality" is certainly too narrow. So that it has lost its credit with me.

What shall I do now? The common phrase is, "What is your aim, what are your aspirations?" Oh, I shall do as I think best. "How?" I can't say that beforehand - you who ask me that pretentious question, do you know what your aim is, what your intentions are?

Now they tell me, "You are unprincipled when you have no aim, no aspirations."

My answer is, I didn't tell you I had no aim, no aspirations, I said it is the height of conceit to try to force one to define what is indefinable.

Letter 336
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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What will make me more completely human?

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Drenthe, 28 October 1883

I look upon the real human feelings, life in harmony with, not against, nature, as the true civilization, which I respect as such. I ask, what will make me more completely human?

Zola says, "I, as an artist, want to live as vigorously as possible - I want to live", without mental reservation - naive as a child, no, not as a child, as an artist - with good will, however life presents itself, I shall find something in it, I will try my best on it. Now look at all those studied little mannerisms, all that convention, how exceedingly conceited it really is, how absurd, a man thinking he knows everything and that things go according to his idea, as if there were not in all things of life a "je ne sais quoi" of great goodness, and also an element of evil, which we feel to be infinitely above us, infinitely greater, infinitely mightier than we are.

How fundamentally wrong is the man who doesn't feel himself small, who doesn't realize he is but an atom.

Letter 336
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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