Mine is absolutely different

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Antwerp, 1st half February 1886

Just yesterday I finished the drawing I made for the evening class's competition. It is the figure of Germanicus that you know. Well, I am sure I shall place last, because all the drawings of the others are exactly alike, and mine is absolutely different. But I saw how that drawing they will think best was made. I was sitting just behind it, and it is correct, it is whatever you like, but it is dead, and that's what all the drawings I saw are.

Enough of this, but let it annoy us so much that it makes us enthusiastic for something nobler, and that we hasten to achieve this.

You, too, need a more vigorous life, and if we might succeed in joining hands, together we should know more than each separately, and should be able to do more.

Letter 452
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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And I will change it

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Antwerp, early February 1886

That impression I can't help getting of myself when comparing myself to others, namely that I look as if I had been in prison for ten years, is not exaggerated; but to change it - and I will change it - I must primarily not get too far out of the art world, but stay some time longer in a studio or at an academy. Then it will disappear.

Letter 448
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Something stiff and awkward about me

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Antwerp, early February 1886

But it has struck me forcibly that there are still other things that I absolutely must change.

When I compare myself to the other fellows, there is something stiff and awkward about me, as if I had been in prison for ten years.

And the cause of this is that for about ten years I have had a difficult and harassed life, much care and sorrow and no friends.

But that will change as my work gets better, and I shall know something and be able to do something.

And I repeat, we are on the right track to accomplishing this. But do not doubt it, the way to succeed is to keep courage and patience and to work on energetically.

Letter 448
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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I see my mistakes

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Antwerp, early February 1886

Do you know what I think? In Paris I should certainly work more than here, for instance a drawing a day or every two days.

And we know, or rather you know, enough clever fellows who would not refuse to look them over and give some hints. So in fact we are at all events on the right track, whether I stay here some time or come to you.

For the rest, Cormon would probably say the same thing as Verlat. Just because I now have the opportunity to talk to several people about my drawings, I see my mistakes, and that is half the battle.

At all events let's keep courage.

Letter 448
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Friendship and co-operation

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Antwerp, c. 3 February 1886

I am very sympathetic to founding a studio, inasmuch as one might combine with other painters to take models together.

The more energy, the better. And in hard times especially, one must look for friendship and co-operation.

Letter 449
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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The work depends on it

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Antwerp, c. 22 January 1886

Next Monday we shall get new models; in fact, then I shall begin in earnest, and for Monday I ought to have had a large canvas; they also told me that I must definitely have other brushes, etc.

But I haven't any money left, so it is really pressing, and I wish you would do what you can, for I am also doing what I can, and almost all the time it is such that hardly anything is left for food.

It would be a relief to me if I could have your letter before Monday. What I wrote you about the clothes I want is also rather urgent. I have already made a few acquaintances who have seen the things I had brought for the admission.

I do not think I can take a shorter cut to make progress, and whether I go to the country afterward or to a studio in Paris, at all events it is a good thing to see many others paint, and specially to work regularly from the model as much as ever is possible.

Goodbye, I write you in a hurry because I must get to work. But try your best not to keep me waiting, for the work depends on it, and I assure you in any case it will be hard enough for me.

Letter 446
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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To stay here a long time

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Antwerp, c. 22 January 1886

I have now been painting at the academy for a few days, and I must say that I like it pretty well. Especially because there are all kinds of painters there, and I see them work in the most varied ways, something I have never experienced before - I mean seeing others work.

It would be by far the best thing for me to stay here a long time, for their models are good, and it will save a great deal of expenses of painting and models, and it is much more difficult than you seem to know, especially if one works alone. But let's hope that in this way things will improve.

Letter 446
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Contact with people

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Antwerp, mid-January 1886

I want to tell you that Verlat has at last seen my work, and when he saw the two landscapes and the still life that I had brought from the country, he said, “Yes, but that does not concern me”; when I showed him the two portraits he said, “That is different, if it is figure painting, you may come.” So tomorrow I shall start working in the academy's painting class.

Besides, I have arranged with Vinck (a pupil of Leys's by whom I saw things in the manner of Leys, medieval) to draw works of antiquity in the evening.

I think neither of these things will do me harm, and perhaps can be of some use to me either in painting or in drawing. And at all events, it is an attempt to come into contact with people. In the painting and drawing class I saw in passing several fellows my age at work.

Letter 445
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Freedom of action

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Antwerp, c. 12-16 January 1886

I begin to object more and more to your pretending to be a financier, and thinking me exactly the opposite. All people are not alike, and if one does not understand that in drawing up accounts some time must have passed over the account before one can be sure to have counted right, if one does not understand this, one is no calculator. And a broader insight into finances is exactly what characterizes many modern financiers. Namely not pinching, but allowing freedom of action.

I know, Theo, that you may also be rather hard up. But your life has never been so hard as mine has these last ten or twelve years. Can't you make allowances for me when I say, Perhaps it has been long enough now? Meanwhile I have learned something that I did not know before, that has renewed all my chances, and I protest against my always being neglected. And if I should like to live again in the city for some time, and afterward perhaps to work in a studio in Paris too, would you try to prevent this?

Be honest enough to let me go my own way, for I tell you that I do not want to quarrel, and I will not quarrel, but I will not be hampered in my career. And what can I do in the country, unless I go there with money for models and colors? There is no chance, absolutely none, of making money with my work in the country, and there is such a chance in the city. So I am not safe before I have made friends in the city - and that comes first. For the moment this may complicate things somewhat, but after all it is the only way, and going back to the country now would end in stagnation.

Letter 444
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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It has been too hard for me

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Antwerp, c. 12-16 January 1886

And I wish I could make you understand how probable it is that there will be great changes in the art trade. And, consequently, many new chances will present themselves too if one has something original to show.

But that is certainly necessary if one wants to be of some use. It is no fault or crime of mine if I must sometimes tell you we must put more vigor into such and such a thing, and if we haven't got the money ourselves, we must find friends and new relations. I must earn a little more or have some more friends, preferably both. That is the way to success, but recently it has been too hard for me.

At present I am losing weight, and moreover my clothes are getting too shabby, etc. You know yourself that it isn't right as it is. Yet I feel sort of confident that we shall pull through.

Letter 444
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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How to fit in

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Antwerp, c. 12-16 January 1886

I will try hard to make acquaintances here, and I think that if I worked some time, for instance under Verlat, I would learn to know better what is going on here, and how to fit in with the rest.

So let me struggle along my own way, and for Heaven's sake do not lose courage, and do not slacken. I do not think you can reasonably expect me to go back to the country for the sake of perhaps 50 fr. a month less, seeing that the whole series of future years will depend so much on the relations I must establish in town, either here in Antwerp or later on in Paris.

Letter 444
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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The estrangement drove me crazy

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Antwerp, early January 1886

If I had some friends, if I were a little known, yes, then it would be easier; but I have no friends, and my job is to try and make them.

I cannot tell you how glad I am that I went to Antwerp, and how many remarkable things there are here for me, who has been out of it all for so long.

How glad I am to see the city again, much as I like the peasants in the country. How the bringing together of contrasts gives me new ideas - the contrasts between the absolute quiet of the country and the bustle here. I needed it badly.

Always to be in a state of exile, forever having to make great efforts, always half measures. But never mind - the family "stranger than strangers" is one fact - and being through with Holland is a second fact. It is quite a relief.

That is my only feeling, and yet I have been so deeply attached to it all that at first the estrangement drove me crazy. But I have looked over the cards too narrowly to let myself hesitate now. And I have got my self-confidence and my serenity back. The secret of that clique - Delaroche-esqueness, mediocrity. Retrogression - I abhor it!

Letter 443
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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One should aim at something lofty

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Antwerp, 28 December 1884

As far as my present work is concerned, I feel I can do better - however, I do need more air and space, in other words I must be able to spread my wings a little. Above all, above all, I still haven't enough models. I could soon produce work of higher quality, but my expenses would be heavier. Still, one should aim at something lofty, genuine, something distinguished, shouldn't one?

I am again reading de Goncourt's book, it is first-rate. In the preface to "Cherie," which you should read, there is an account of what the de Goncourts went through - and of how, at the end of their lives, they were pessimistic, yes - but also sure of themselves, knowing that they had done something, that their work would last. What fellows they were! if only we got on together better than we do now, if only we too could be in complete accord - we could be the same, couldn't we?

Letter 442
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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My affairs can prosper

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Nuenen, November 1884

I do not know how you have taken my last letter, which was not meant unkindly. My affairs can prosper, and in both our interests, I wish we could concentrate all the power a our disposal.

I believe it possible to be on better terms with you too than we are at present.

But speaking frankly - I think you have been too neutral toward me this past one and a half or two years, and above all things I desire more cordiality, our friendship having been too cool and too inactive for my taste. You may find this conceited if you like, but it isn't; I pointed this out to you before, and again now, for serious, practical reasons.

Letter 385
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Something will happen before long

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Nuenen, 1 November 1884

I have not written to Mauve or Tersteeg in a complaining tone. On the contrary, but I said as forcibly as I could, Give me another opportunity to make a few studies at Mauve's! I will harp on it till Mauve gives in.

If I fail alone, we must ask Mauve together until he gives in. Then, after that, I shall have gained some hints for correcting my work here and improving it, and I shall again have a pied-a-terre with a solid, serious painter, and then I warrant you, something will happen before long - either I shall exhibit or I shall sell.

And so, courage!

Letter 384
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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One must renew oneself

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Nuenen, 1 November 1884

I have once more tried to renew the relations with Mauve and, if possible, also with Tersteeg. I do not know if I shall succeed, but I must have a freer scope, for having been without any intercourse with the world of art for a full year and longer, as I have, notwithstanding all good will, one comes to a dead end and must renew oneself.

Help me to get afloat and to earn money, not only by sending your money but also by your influence, and more sympathy, and a more unalloyed friendship..

I have strength enough to accomplish something, and to earn money too. And then - as you say - if I make progress in my painting, and gain a good independent position, I shall be worth more than I am now.

Letter 384
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Standing behind another counter

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Drenthe, 3 November 1883

Then be wise, you, then be sensible, and listen to what I tell you about the thorny little path of painting, which at first leads to all sorts of humiliation, etc., but which for all that will eventually lead to a more lasting victory and a more definite peace than commerce can ever give. . . .

Theo, at times I think that for an artist the utmost poverty would be bearable (and productive too) if only he were not alone. . . . It has become an idee fixe of mine that you will feel so uprooted, so disoriented, so defeated that as for standing behind another counter you will simply say, "I can't do it," "It would certainly be a failure." . . . There, my presentiment tells me that this is approximately how you feel at heart.

In this case I see nothing reckless, nothing unpractical, nothing foolish in our wanting to feel our energy, to feel ourselves. Let our love of art inspire us with a "faith of the coal miner," inspire us to say what others have said before us, and will say after us, namely, Though circumstances may be ominous, and though we may be very poor, and so on, yet we have one thing to cling to tenaciously - painting, of course.

Letter 339b
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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They would think it madness

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Drenthe, 29 October 1883

And I believe not being absolutely alone does a lot of good, as one is apt to become absorbed in one's work; but this should not lead to losing one's way, and by taking each other's advice the right way can be followed steadily. If you talked it over with other people, they would say, What are you thinking of? - how wild a venture to give up this, that and the other! In short, they would think it madness - a blunder. As for myself, I find wildness in a conception of life other than the one I am talking about - i.e. being a painter - I think it wildly reckless to tie oneself down irrevocably to the city and the affairs of the city. They will tell you that you are a fanatic, but most certainly you - after having undergone so many mental trials - will know that it is impossible for you to be fanatical, for you are in a period of disenchantment. Don't let them try to turn things upside down, that won't do for me!

Letter 339a
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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I should be more myself

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Drenthe, 28 October 1883

I know all these things have a perilous money side, but what I say is, let's weaken this perilous money side as much as possible, in the first place by not being under its sway too long, and then by feeling that if one will only set about things with love, with a certain understanding of each other and cooperation and mutual helpfulness, many things which would otherwise be insupportable would be softened - yes, even totally changed.

As for me, if I could find some people whom I could talk to about art, who felt for it and wanted to feel for it - I should gain an enormous advantage in my work - I should feel more myself, be more myself. If there is enough money to keep us going in the very first period, by the time it is gone I shall be earning money.

Letter 336
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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I am so happy

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Arles, 17 September 1888

As long as you can manage to bear the burden of all this paint and canvas and all the money that I spend, keep on sending it. Because the stuff I am getting ready will be better than the last batch, and I think we shall make something on it instead of losing. If only I can manage to do a coherent whole. That is what I am trying to do. . . .

I am so happy in the house and in my work that I even dare to think that this happiness will not always be limited to one, but that you will have a share in it and good luck to go with it.

Letter 539
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Common cause

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Arles, 11 September 1888

If we had a common purse and make common cause, I think myself that after a few years' working in common we should all profit.

Because if the combination were arranged this way, you yourself would feel, I do not say happier, but a better artist, and more productive than with me alone.

Both Gauguin and I will feel strongly that we must succeed because the honor of all three of us is at stake, and that each is not working for himself alone. That's how it looks to me. And I believe that even if collapse is in the nature of things and bound to come, we must still act in the same way. But more and more I reject the idea of this collapse, when I think of the serenity you see on the faces in the Frans Halses and the Rembrandts, such as the portrait of old Six, or his self-portrait, or those Frans Halses in Haarlem that we know so well: pictures of old men and women.

It is better to have serenity than to be too timorous.

Letter 536
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Partnership

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Arles, 4 September 1888

As for Gauguin, perhaps he is letting himself drift with the current, not thinking of the future. And perhaps he thinks that I shall always be here and that he has our word. But it is not too late to withdraw, and really I am strongly tempted to do so, because failing him, I should naturally think of another partnership, whereas at present we are bound. All the same, if Gauguin can find enough to live on, have we the right to bother him? . . .

He and I both are really behaving like fools. Is it true or not? Certainly the truth is still more serious. If it is not necessary for him to alter his way of life, he has either a lot more money than I or considerably better luck. Being ruined costs more than being successful, and certainly it is our own fault if we do not have more peace.

Letter 532
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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The urgent necessity of helping

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Arles, 4 September 1888

Neither Gauguin nor Bernard has written again. I think that Gauguin doesn't care a damn about it, because it isn't going to be done at once, and I for my part, seeing that Gauguin has managed to muddle along by himself for six months, am ceasing to believe in the urgent necessity of helping him.

So let's be prudent. If it does not suit him here, he may be forever reproaching me with, "Why did you bring me to this rotten country?" And I don't want any of that.

Naturally we can still remain friends with Gauguin but I see only too clearly that his mind is elsewhere. So I say, let's behave as if he were not there; then if he comes, so much the better - if he doesn't, so much the worse.

Letter 532
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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A certain barricade

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Nuenen, September 1884

I always regret, Theo, that I am standing on one side of a certain barricade, you on the other, which barricade is not actually visible any more as a structure of paving stones, but which certainly does exist socially, and will continue to do so.

In that lithograph by Daumier or Lemud, whichever it may be, the principal subject is a person whose story I remember.

There were two brothers, and they were standing on the same side, and both were killed one after the other, for the same cause.

That might have occurred in our case, but now I am almost sure it will never happen. I, for my part, know well enough that the future will always remain very difficult for me, and I am almost sure that in the future I shall never be what people call prosperous.

Letter 380
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Finding friends

Vincent van Gogh to Horace M. Livens, from Paris, August-October 1886

And so I am struggling for life and progress in art.

Now I would very much like to know what you are doing and whether you ever think of going to Paris.

If ever you did come here, write to me before and I will, if you like, share my lodgings and studio with you so long as I have any. In spring - say February or even sooner I may be going to the South of France, the land of the blue tones and gay colors.

And look here, if I knew you had longings for the same we might combine.

I felt sure at the time that you are a thorough colorist and since I saw the impressionists I assure you that neither your color nor mine as it is developing itself, is exactly the same as their theories. But so much dare I say we have a chance and a good one finding friends.

Letter 459a
Written in English.
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Always doing what I can't do yet

Vincent van Gogh to Anthon van Rappard, from Nuenen, second half of August 1885

The work in question, the painting of peasants, is such a hard job that the utterly weak won't even attempt it.

And at least I have attempted it, and I have laid certain foundations, which is not exactly the easiest part of the job! And in drawing as well as in painting I can sometimes keep hold of certain solid and useful things, a firmer hold than you think, amice. But I am always doing what I can't do yet in order to learn how to do it. But writing you about this bores me. So I'll end by saying that the work is difficult, and that, instead of quarreling, the fellows who paint peasants and the common people would do wisely to join hands as much as possible. Union is strength, and what we have to fight against is not each other but those fellows who, even in the present period, are obstructing the progress of the ideas which Millet and others of a past generation fought for and which they pioneered. Nothing is a greater hindrance than this fatal fighting among ourselves.

Letter R57
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Union is strength

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Nuenen, second half of August 1885

As to Rappard, I just wrote to him, I want him to retract completely what he has written. But you see, Theo, how much depends on being consistent in one's work.

I wrote Rappard that actually we have to fight other things than each other, and that at this moment those painting rural life and the life of the people must join hands because union is strength.

At any rate, one cannot do it alone; a whole group that is of the same mind can do more. You too must be of good courage, for perhaps we shall make more friends and then will become more animated, and perhaps the mutual discord will change into a peasant uprising against the kind of painters one finds on every jury nowadays, who, if they could, would even now obstruct the ideas which Millet pioneered.

Letter 415
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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My life is too cramped and meager

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 22 July 1883

I feel my ardor vanishing, one needs to have a fixed point somewhere. When you say, "Set your hopes on the future," it sounds to me as if you yourself had no confidence in me.

Is this true? I can't help it, my spirits are low because of all these cares. I only wish you were here.

You say that the effect of the lithographs is somewhat meager. I am not in the least surprised when I think of how a man's physique influences his work, and my life is too cramped and meager. Really, Theo, we ought to have had a little more to eat for the sake of the work, but I could not afford it, and it will remain so as long as I cannot breathe a little more freely.

Letter 301
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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It seemed to me a mistake

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 22 July 1883

In fact, I have no real friend but you, and when I am in low spirits, I always think of you. I only wish you were here, that we might again talk together about moving to the country. . . .

I have tried to work a little today, but suddenly I was overcome by a depression which I cannot exactly account for. At such moments one wishes one were made of iron, and regrets that one is only flesh and blood.

I had written you early this morning, but after I had mailed my letter, it suddenly seemed as if all my troubles crowded together to overwhelm me, and it became too much for me because I could no longer look clearly into the future. I can't put it any other way, and I can't understand why I shouldn't succeed in my work.

I have put all my heart into it, and, for a moment at least, that seemed to me a mistake.

Letter 302
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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A good long look at some potato plants

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, c. 11 July 1883

I find Breitner's stuff objectionable because the imagination behind it is clumsy and meaningless and has virtually no contact with reality. I think it's terribly ugly. But I look on it as the result of a spell of ill-health. . . .

I wish I could provide him with some company and diversion, I wish I could share his ups and downs more often and perhaps cultivate his friendship a bit more. . . .

The cure for him would be to take a good long look at some potato plants, which have lately had such a deep and distinctive color and tone, instead of driving himself mad looking at pieces of yellow satin and bits of gold leather. Well, we shall have to wait and see. He is intelligent enough, but he persists all the same with a sort of eccentric prejudice. If he were merely departing from normality with a rational motive, well and good, but with him it is also a question of no longer taking trouble with his work. I think it is a very bad business and just hope he will come out of it all right, but he has badly lost his way.

Letter 299
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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All depends on the work

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 26 July 1882

Be sure, boy, that I am quite my old self again, and be sure I believe that all depends on the work, and that I consider everything in direct relation to it. The new studio is a great improvement on the old one; it makes work easier, and it is much better for posing especially because one can take a greater distance. . . .

By going quietly on with my work I have every hope of eventually getting an entirely new circle of acquaintances to compensate for the loss of the sympathy of Mauve, Tersteeg and others; but I will make no step toward it, not the least - it must come from the work itself.

Letter 220
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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There is some good in life

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 23 July 1882

Do you approve of our arranging to spend the time you have free from business and visits together, and both trying to be in the same frame of mind as we were in the days of the Rijswijk mill?

As for me, brother - though the mill is gone and the years and my youth are gone as irrevocably - deep within me has risen again the feeling that there is some good in life, and that it is worth while to exert oneself and to try to take life seriously. Perhaps, or rather certainly, this is more firmly rooted than it used to be, when I had less experience. The question for me now is how to express the poetry of that time in my drawings.

Letter 219
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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I feel uneasy about the future

Vincent van Gogh to Anthon van Rappard, from Nuenen, June 1885

What you did the last time you were here had and has my full sympathy; and, amice Rappard, it is because you worked so damned well that last time, and because I think you might desire the opportunity you have here to remain unchanged, that I am writing to you. Make up your mind; but I tell you this unreservedly - despite all my appreciation of your painting, I feel uneasy about the future from one point of view, I mean as to whether you will be able to keep it up; I am some times afraid that, because of influences which you cannot help being exposed to on account of your social position and station in life, you will not remain in the long run as good as you are at present - i.e. as a painter in your painting; all the rest is none of my concern.

Letter R52
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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I am so accustomed to insults

Vincent van Gogh to Anthon van Rappard, from Nuenen, June 1885

I am so accustomed to insults - they leave me so perfectly cold - that a man like you will probably find it difficult to understand how utterly cold such a letter as yours, for instance, leaves me. And being indifferent to it, I feel as little resentment as a pole. But on the other hand - I have enough clarity of mind and serenity to answer as I do now. If you want to break with me, it's all right by me. If you want to go on painting here, you don't have to pay attention to these little bickerings in our correspondence.

Letter R52
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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This long period of drudgery

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, c. 23-28 June 1883

It is true that I have written you often lately, but my letters harp so much on the same thing that I am angry with myself for not writing you in a somewhat more amusing way. It will come back someday - I think that when you have been in the studio again, there will be more animating subjects to write about. At least I hope so, and there will be, if you feel sympathy for what I am doing and what you have not yet seen. . . .

Right now I am working on no less than seven or eight drawings of about a meter in size, so you can imagine that I am up to my ears in work.

But I hope so much that my hand will become more skillful from this long period of drudgery.

Letter 296
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Your sacrifices have borne some fruit

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 3 June 1883

And with regard to my finances, know it well that whatever you can spare is as absolutely necessary to me as the air I breathe, and that my productivity depends on it, but I don't think you need be afraid of taking any steps toward recommending my work, for it will not be a failure; I think I can assure you we will find friends for it. And for my part, in order to lighten the burden for you, though apart from that I assure you I did not like it at all, I wrote to C. M., and I want to ask you: could you perhaps write a little word to Tersteeg, telling him that I am working on those large drawings? Look here, boy, if Mauve gave a helping hand now, for instance, perhaps, perhaps they might be turned into paintings. I think the studies and compositions are worked out enough to serve as a foundation for a painted picture. If I had the means, I would not care to sell these at all, and I should keep my work together till it formed a good whole.

And know that I long terribly for your coming. I think you will see, brother, that your faithful help and your sacrifices for me have borne some fruit, and will bear even more.

Letter 290
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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It is devilishly difficult

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 3 June 1883

It was a good thing that I went to see Rappard, for his sympathy has cheered me where I hadn't enough self-confidence. But when you see these drawings, Theo, and the studies, you will understand that this year I have had as much care and trouble as a man can bear. It is devilishly difficult to hammer out a figure. And indeed, it is the same as with iron - one works on a model, and goes on working, at first with no result; but at last it mellows, and one finds the figure, like the iron, becomes malleable when it is hot, and then one must go on working on it. So I had a model continually for these two drawings, and worked on them early and late.

Letter 288
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Sometimes with a kind of fury

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 21 May 1883

But, Theo, the work brings so many expenses: and in many things I haven't the free hand that would be necessary. Of course, the household costs are heavy too. One needs food and clothes, there is also the studio rent; well, but it certainly has cheered me that Rappard likes several things I've done, and now that I've seen what his own work is like, I am even more glad that some of my things pleased him.

I am always afraid of not working enough; I think I can do so much better still, and that is what I am striving for, sometimes with a kind of fury.

Letter 286
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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As a whole

Vincent van Gogh to Anthon van Rappard, from The Hague, c. 21 May 1883

Here follows a passage from Dickens that expresses forcefully what goes on in the mind of a figure painter while he is working on a composition:

"I was occupied with this story during many working hours of two years. I must have been very ill employed, if I could not leave its merits and demerits as a whole to express themselves on its being read as a whole. But, as it is not unreasonable to suppose that I may have held its various threads with a more continuous attention than any one else can have given to them during its desultory publication, it is not unreasonable to ask that the weaving may be looked at in its complete state, and with the pattern finished" - Preface, Little Dorrit.

Here you are, my dear friend, beautifully expressed, how a figure painter deserves to be looked at - as a whole.

This is how I looked at your work today, and my sympathy for you was confirmed by it. And as for you, I want you to go on looking at me as a whole too, which many others don't do.

Letter R35
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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A time for being severe

Vincent van Gogh to Anthon van Rappard, from The Hague, c. 8 May 1883

Don't get the idea that I object to all ornaments and decorations - but I object to them at present and under the circumstances which confront us in Holland nowadays. I do not object to a certain surplus of vigor being wasted in this direction during a time of great animation and energy and renascence. But I object to it in times when the general atmosphere isn't one of animation and energy - especially among the younger generation; let the man who has energy concentrate - there is a time for gaiety, but also a time for being severe. It is really necessary not to share that particular feeling of security of those who think all is going well, which is the convention nowadays, and which can easily lead to a new periwig-and-pigtail era of taking it easy and letting things slide.

When there is decadence - then no ornaments, if you please - but a striving after spiritual communion with "the old ones of yesterday," ignoring the present.

Letter R34
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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It will perhaps be sold for 50 guilders

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 27 May 1882

Rappard's visit has cheered me up; he seems to work very hard.

I have received 2.50 guilders from him because he saw a tear in one of the drawings and said, You must have that repaired.

That's true, I said, but I haven't the money, and the drawing must be sent off.

Then he readily said that he would be pleased to give me it; he would have given even more, but I wouldn't take it, and gave him a whole lot of wood engravings and a drawing in exchange. It was one for C. M., and as it was the best of them all, the money to have it repaired was very welcome. That same drawing will perhaps be sold afterward for 50 guilders or so, and I didn't have the money to have a tear in it repaired.

Letter 202
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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They will change their minds

Vincent van Gogh to Anthon van Rappard, from Nuenen, April 1884

I hope you will come. Of course you will bring along your tools, and the more you bring of your work the better I shall like it. I should like to see that sketch of the "Females of Terschelling" and the "Little Weaver" again. . . .

I think that when you come it will be a good opportunity to bring with you all the drawings of mine that you have at home. Then we can resume our work together on a number of new subjects, if you feel like it.

It is always a good thing to let one's work wander around a bit; and if people don't like it, well, never mind - show it again later anyway. If some people you've happened to show these studies to have disapproved of them or laughed at them or said of them no matter what, they will change their minds if they continue to see them over and over again - not all of them, but some.

Letter R45
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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A certain self-confidence

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Nuenen, April 1884

As to Rappard, it is curious what absurd things he sometimes hears about his work, which he takes quite coolly. One must be prepared for that, and have a certain self-confidence, so as not to let oneself be confounded or upset. Friends whose cordiality makes up for the bother the work causes are of great value to a painter. If you should feel personal sympathy for Rappard's work, he would certainly not feel indifferent toward you either.

But he as well as I, we are getting more and more disillusioned about finding sympathy, and are more and more determined to persevere without minding what anybody says.

Letter 365
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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He is more advanced than I

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Nuenen, April 1884

Now, just think whether it wouldn't be very unkind of you toward him if you took no notice of his visit when he comes here before long. Think over whether it is right that you, who know Rappard, have seen nothing of his work, do not even know what he makes except for what I tell you, that you do not take the slightest notice of him. Yet he is one of the people that will count - who will assert themselves - of whose work one will have to take notice. At one time Rappard came to you, and felt small in your presence because you knew so much about art. Since that year he spent in Paris - what enormous progress he has made!

I don't think you would regret it if you took my hint to heart. I simply want you to renew the acquaintance with him.

There is all the more reason for it because he is more advanced than I am. I say this simply to prevent your being guilty of negligence.

Letter 365
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Achieving spiritual unity

Vincent van Gogh to Anthon van Rappard, from The Hague, c. 21 March 1883

Speaking for myself, I expect more good from a uniting of painters actuated by mutual sympathy and singleness of purpose and warm friendship and loyalty than from a uniting of their works by means of exhibitions.

I do not venture to infer from the fact that I see a number of pictures hanging together in the same hall that there is a spirit of unity and mutual respect and wholesome co-operation among those who made said pictures, etc. I consider this latter exigency - whether it is to be or not to be - so important that very little else can be counted important except in connection with achieving spiritual unity, and however important some other things may be considered by themselves, no substitute can ever make up for the lack of this unity; and the lack of it means the lack of sure ground to stand on. I don't at all desire that exhibitions, etc., should be discontinued, but what I do desire is a reform, or rather a renewal and strengthening, of painters' societies and of the co-operation among painters, all of which would have such an influence that even exhibitions would actually become useful.

Letter R32
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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A uniting of painters

Vincent van Gogh to Anthon van Rappard, from The Hague, c. 21 March 1883

These thoughts cannot but lead me to the question of exhibitions. You are working for exhibitions - all right - I for my part most decidedly don't hold with exhibitions. I used to attach more value to them than I do now - I don't know why - formerly I looked upon exhibitions otherwise than I do now - perhaps I once had rather too good an opportunity to look behind the scenes at some proceedings connected with exhibitions - and perhaps it is not merely indifference on my part when I say that many people are mistaken about the results of an exhibition. I don't want to expatiate on this theme at present, I only want to say this, Speaking for myself, I expect more good from a uniting of painters actuated by mutual sympathy and singleness of purpose and warm friendship and loyalty than from a uniting of their works by means of exhibitions.

Letter R32
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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The never-changing formula – convention

Vincent van Gogh to Anthon van Rappard, from The Hague, c. 21 March 1883

This week I have been working on drawings of figures with wheelbarrows - perhaps for lithographs too - but how do I know what will come of it? - I just go on drawing, that's all. As I told you just now, Van der Weele came to see me during the week. . . . I said to Van der Weele, "Just tell me - do you think we use enough models??" Van der Weele answered, "When Israels came to my studio the other day, and saw my large picture of the sand carts, he said, I advise you above all to use a lot of models." . . .

Well, however that may be, let's encourage each other to do it, and let's inspire each other as much as we can to work, on, not in the manner the dealers want us to, but with virile strength, truth, good faith and honesty. All of which has in my opinion a direct bearing on working from the model. It seems to be some kind of fate that what one produces in this fashion is called "unpleasing"; but I think that this imaginary but very active prejudice would have to yield to contrary efforts on the part of the painters, provided these painters agreed among themselves, and helped and backed each other up, and no longer let the dealers be the only ones to speak to the public, but spoke up themselves once in a while too; for although I am willing to admit that what a painter would say about his own work would not always be understood, I am still of the opinion that a better seed would be sown in the field of public opinion in this way than the seeds the dealers and such fellows customarily sow according to a never-changing formula - convention.

Letter R32
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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To make the work as good as possible

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, c. 21 March 1883

Rappard is going to send a large picture to the Amsterdam exhibition. It represents four tile painters around a table. Indirectly I've heard much good about it. Now, though it's not my intention to do large pictures for exhibitions, still I wouldn't like to do work inferior to Rappard's, for instance.

I even find something animating in the thought that one works in one direction, the other in another, yet there is still mutual sympathy. Competition, when it proceeds from jealousy, is quite a different thing from trying one's best to make the work as good as possible, out of mutual respect. "The extremes touch." I do not see any good in jealousy, but I would despise a friendship which did not call for some exertion on both sides to maintain the same level.

Letter 275
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Why shouldn't more painters join hands?

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 11 March 1883

It sometimes seems to me that the prices of the various painting and drawing materials are terribly inflated. So that it thwarts many a person from painting. . . .

I am privileged above many others, but I cannot do everything which I might have the courage and energy to undertake. The expenses are so extensive, beginning with a model and food and housing, and ending with the different colors and brushes.

And that is also like a weaving loom, where the different threads must be kept apart.

But we all have to bear up against the same thing - so just because everyone who paints or draws has to hear it, and if alone would almost sink down under it, why shouldn't more painters join hands, to work together, like soldiers of the rank and file; and why, especially, are those branches of art which are least expensive so much despised?

Letter 274
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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If we could talk things over

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 11 March 1883

When you say that you sometimes wish we could talk together more, about a variety of things in art, I for my part have that longing continually, and sometimes very strongly.

So often I should like to know your opinion about this or that, about some studies, etc., for instance, if they might be of some use, or if it would be advisable, for some reason or other, to go more deeply into them.

So often I should like to have some more information about things on which you are better informed than I, and I should like to know more about the state of things, I mean what kind of work the painters are producing. . . .

And just now, owing to a piling up of studies, it would be worth a great deal to me if we could talk things over together.

Letter 274
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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A burning desire to push on

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, c. 3 March 1883

I have a burning desire to push on, and to make progress.

There is another thing spurring me on, namely that Rappard is also working at top speed, more than he used to, and I want to keep up with him, because then we'll get on better together, and can profit more from each other's experience.

He has painted much more than I, and has drawn longer, but we are both on just about the same level. I don't try to compete with him as a painter, but I won't let him beat me in drawing. I wish that in the future he and I should keep working in the same direction, that is, types from the people, scenes in a soup kitchen, hospital, etc. He has promised to come to see me one of these days. . . .

This and many other things give me a strong desire to push on vigorously.

Letter 271
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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I can hardly call it friendly

Vincent van Gogh to Anthon van Rappard, from Nuenen, 25 February 1884

I can hardly call it friendly that you haven't written me a single word in all this time; but as I suppose you will agree with me on this point more or less, I will not pursue the subject right now. . . .

I have thought repeatedly about the fact that we made some sort of agreement that I was to send you a few watercolors this winter. But, as I heard absolutely nothing from you, I must tell you frankly that I did not feel the slightest inclination to do so. So the whole thing came to nothing - although I have done some.

Letter R40
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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I should like to find a real friendship

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 11 February 1883

It is sometimes difficult for me to give up a friendship, but if I go into a studio and have to think, Talk about inane things, don't mention anything of importance and don't express your real feeling about art - that would make me more melancholy than if I stayed away altogether. Just because I should like to find and keep up a real friendship, it is difficult for me to conform to a conventional friendship.

If there is a desire to be friendly on both sides, there may be some difference of opinion, but for all that, one doesn't fall out so easily, and if one does, it is easily made up. Where it is conventional, bitterness is almost unavoidable, just because one does not feel free, and even though one doesn't express one's real feelings, they are sufficiently apparent to leave a continuing disagreeable impression on both sides and to make it hopeless for one to profit from the other's society. Where there is conventional, there is mistrust, and mistrust gives rise to all kinds of intrigues. And with a little more mutual sincerity, our lives would be so much easier.

Letter 266
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Not a soul I can confide in

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 11 February 1883

I am glad that my eyes are no worse, rather a little better, but it is not quite over yet and I must be careful. I can tell you, it was quite upsetting. How I should love to talk with you - for I am not discouraged about the work, nor listless nor disheartened, but I am at a standstill, and that is, perhaps, because I ought to have some intercourse with someone who is sympathetic to me and whom I could talk to about it; right now there is not a soul here whom I can confide in. . . .

I like the proverb, "When things are at their worst, they are sure to mend," but now and then I ask myself, "Haven't we by any chance reached the worst?" for the "mending" would not be at all unwelcome to me. Well, we'll see.

Letter 266
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Nothing dies entirely

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 11 February 1883

You spoke of disenchantment; no, no, it is true there is a withering and budding in love as in nature, but nothing dies entirely. It is true there is an ebb and flow, but the sea remains the sea. And in love, either for a woman or for art, there are times of exhaustion and impotence, but there is no permanent disenchantment.

I consider love as well as friendship not just a feeling but also a positive action, and as such it requires doing things and exerting oneself, and exhaustion and impotence are the consequences.

A sincere and true love is a blessing, I think, though that doesn't prevent occasional hard times.

Letter 266
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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They will become your friends

Vincent van Gogh to Anthon van Rappard, from The Hague, c. 9 February 1883

If you should feel some pangs of conscience about accepting these and other sheets from "The Graphic," well, just think over whether you have ever regretted taking those first ones with you last year. I don't believe it; it may be because of this or something else - but it is a fact that you think about your collection much more often this year than you used to. And that's only natural; just having these sheets oneself causes one to think of them more often and impresses them clearly and strongly on one's mind. And so I believe that these will have the same result - they will become your friends more and more. Well, personally I don't regret having given them to you, for you appreciate them and look at them as they ought to be looked at. There are so few who have a feeling for them; and it is certainly true that since you have an eye and a heart for them, I have become so attached to your friendship that it would be hard for me to do without it.

I used to think years ago that most artists had the same kinds of feelings and ideas about art as you and I, but in some sense this is not true at all.

Letter R25
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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One learns much from them

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, c.25-29 January 1883

There is something very pleasant in the intercourse with the models, one learns much from them. This winter I have had some people whom I shall not easily forget. It is a charming saying of Edouard Frere's that he kept the same models so long that "those who used to pose for the babies, are now posing for the mothers."

Letter 262
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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"Behold, I make all things new"

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Dordrecht, 21 January 1877

Last Sunday, I wrote to Mr. & Mrs. Jones to tell them that I was not coming back, and unintentionally the letter became rather long - out of the fullness of my heart. I wished them to remember me and asked them to wrap my recollection in the cloak of charity.

I have hung in my bedroom the two engravings Christus Consolator that you have given me. I saw the pictures at the museum, as well as Scheffer's "Christ in Gethsemane," which is unforgettable. Then there is a sketch of "Les Douleurs de la Terre" and several drawings, a sketch of his studio, and, as you know, the portrait of his mother. There are still other fine pictures, for instance, Achenbach and Schelfhout and Koekkoek and also a fine Allebe - an old man near the stove. Shall we look at them together someday?

The first Sunday I was here, I heard a sermon on "Behold, I make all things new." This morning I heard the Reverend Mr. Beversen in a little old church. There was Communion, and his text was: "If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink."

Letter 84
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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"He is the one"

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Paris, January 1876

Thanks for your letter, write to me often, for I long to hear from you in these days. Write me at length, speak to me of your daily life, you see that I am doing the same. . . .

We feel lonely now and then and long for friends and think we should be quite different and happier if we found a friend of whom we might say: "He is the one." But you, too, will begin to learn that there is much self-deception behind this longing; if we yielded too much to it, it would lead us from the road. . . .

And now here is some news: my friend Gladwell is moving. One of the employees of the printing office convinced him to come and lodge with him; for quite a while he did everything he could to persuade him.

I know that Gladwell made this decision without thinking about it, I regret his departure very much; it will be soon, probably towards the end of the month.

Letter 52
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Keep heart

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, January 1873

I know so well how strange you must feel in the beginning, but don't lose courage, you'll get on all right. . . .

What happy days we spent together at Christmas! I think of them so often. . . . Don't forget to tell me what pictures you see and which you like best. . . .

My New Year began well; they have granted me an increase of ten guilders (I therefore earn fifty guilders per month), and they have given me a bonus of fifty guilders as a present. Isn't that splendid? I hope to be able to shift for myself now.

I am very happy that you work in the same firm. It is such a splendid house; the more one works there, the more ambition it gives you.

The beginning is perhaps more difficult than anything else, but keep heart, it will turn out all right.

Letter 3
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Good fellowship and genuineness

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 2 January 1883

I sometimes think of the time, a year ago, when I came here to The Hague. I had imagined that the painters formed a kind of circle or society in which warmth and cordiality and a certain kind of harmony reigned. This seemed to me quite natural, and I didn't suppose it could be different.

Nor should I want to lose the ideas I had about it then, though I must modify them and distinguish between what is and what might be. I cannot believe so much coolness and disharmony is natural.

What's the reason??? I don't know and it's not my business to find out, but it's a matter of principle with me that I personally must avoid two things. First, one must not quarrel but, instead of that, try to promote peace - for others as well as for oneself. And second, my opinion is that if one is a painter, one must not try to be something other than a painter in society; as a painter, one must avoid other social ambitions and not try to keep up with the people who live in the Voorhout, Willemspark, etc. For in the old dark, smoky studios there was a good fellowship and genuineness which was infinitely better than what threatens to replace it.

Letter 256
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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I cannot judge what is practicable

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 2 January 1883

I long very much indeed to see you again. I have so many plans - not all of which will be realized, I suppose, nor will they all be failures - and I want so badly to talk them over with you because I have so little time to think them over and I am so little in touch with what is in demand that I cannot judge what is practicable. Please do not let my having done nothing saleable this year worry you; you once said the same thing to me, and if I say so now, it is because I see a few things within my reach in the future which I couldn't see before.

Letter 256
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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All your help and friendship

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 28-30 December 1882

Before the year is up, I feel I have to thank you again for all your help and friendship. . . .

I am sorry that I haven't succeeded in making a saleable drawing this year. I really do not know where the fault lies.

I wish you could come to the studio sometime. I think I wrote you in my last letter that I am at present drawing large heads because I felt the need of a more intimate study of the structure of the skull and the interpretation of the physiognomy. The work absorbs me greatly, and I found a few things lately for which I had been seeking for a long time. Well, whenever you come, you will see everything.

Letter 255
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Instead of a job, a kind of jail

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 11 December 1882,

What sometimes makes me sad is this: formerly, when I started, I used to think, If only I make so or so much progress, I shall get a job somewhere, and I shall be on a straight road and find my way through life.

But now something else occurs, and I fear, or rather expect, instead of a job, a kind of jail - I expect such things as, Yes, some things in your work are rather good (I doubt if they really mean it), but, you see, we have no use for work like yours, we need current events (for example, the Graphic - we print on Saturday what happened on Thursday).

. . . In short, instead of meeting with an opinion, a sentiment, an aim like Dickens's (for such the Graphic originally stood for), one is confronted with a philosophy like Obach's. It makes me sad, and then I feel helpless. One can only undertake a thing if one has sympathy and co-operation.

Letter 252
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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I hate the thought of it!

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 11 December 1882

Here in The Hague there are clever, great men, I readily admit it; but in many respects what a miserable state of affairs - what intrigues, what quarrels, what jealousy. And in the personality of the successful artists who . . . set the tone, material grandeur is unmistakably substituted for moral grandeur.

I am beginning to feel that if I went, for instance, to England, if I made every effort, I should certainly have a chance of finding a job.

My ideal was to achieve this, and, after all, it still is; this was what enabled me to surmount the enormous difficulties in the beginning. But my heart gets heavy at times when I think of the way things are going, it's not so much fun any more. Of course, I love to do my best on the drawings, but to present myself at all those publishers' offices - oh, I hate the thought of it!

Letter 252
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Such proofs of sympathy are rare

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 1 December 1882

A few days ago I received a letter from Rappard . . . . I had incidentally written him, "I have had another obstacle, a letter with money which was especially intended for the experiments got lost."

In answer to this, he wrote: "Don't let this trouble you, and count on me if you cannot continue or if you need something." I had not written it to him because I expected him to say such a thing . . . . Still, it pleased me, because such proofs of sympathy are rare. I answered him, For the moment there is no need of it, but if it really became a question of my not being able to continue, I would accept your aid. And I told him how much I appreciated it. You see now that this is one of the cases which I wrote you about in my last letter.

Letter 249
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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"The faith of the coalminer"

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 24 November 1882

I'm afraid, Theo, that many who have sacrificed the old for the sake of the new will be very sorry for it in the end. Especially in the realm of art.

In short, there used to be a body of painters, authors, artists, who were united, notwithstanding their differences, and they were a force. They did not walk in the dark but were enlightened: they certainly knew what they wanted, and they did not waver. I'm talking about the time when Corot, Millet, Daubigny, Jacque, Breton, were young; in Holland, Israels, Mauve, Maris, etc.

One supported the other, there was something strong and noble in it. The art galleries were smaller then; in the studios there was perhaps a greater abundance than now - as the beautiful things are soon snapped up. Those crammed studios, those smaller show windows, but above all, "the faith of the coalminer" of the artists - their warmth, their fire, their enthusiasm - how sublime they were. Neither you nor I witnessed it exactly, but our love for that period brings us nearer to it. Let's not forget it, it may be of use, especially if one continues to say so readily, "We don't need that any more."

Letter 247
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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I see in work the only safety

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 22 November 1882

When your last letter came, after having had to wait so long, I had to pay so much at once that little was left. However, I have made those two experiments in lithography again, notwithstanding the expense, because especially in hard times I see in work the only safety, and I will fight to get ahead.

But today or tomorrow all my money will be gone. If it is possible for you to send something, do so, if not, it is neither your fault nor mine - but the days will be hard. Well, nevertheless, we must keep heart as long as we can, and not give away to melancholy or weakness. . . .

Even if you don't have the money, boy, do write, for I need your sympathy, which is not worth less to me than the money.

Letter 246
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Union makes strength

The truth is that whenever different people love the same thing and work at it together, their union makes strength; combined, they can do more than if their separate energies were each striving in a different direction. By working together one becomes stronger and a whole is formed, though the personality of each need not be blotted out by working together. And therefore I wish that Rappard were entirely better; we do not really work together, but we have the same thoughts about many things. He is recovering, though, and we are already fussing over our wood engravings again.

But it is my constant hope that we shall become even better friends than we are now, and that perhaps later we shall go and visit the miners together, for instance. But for the moment, I think we must both apply ourselves to a thorough study of the figure; the better we master that, the easier it will become to carry out such plans.

To Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, c. 25-29 January 1883, Letter 262
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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