By truly following nature

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Nuenen, c 24 January 1885

When I think how Paul Renouard rose to such a height by working from the very beginning from nature, without imitating others, and how he is none the less in harmony with the very clever people, even in technique, though from the very first he had his own style, I find him again a proof that by truly following nature one's work improves every year.

And I am daily more convinced that people who do not in the first place wrestle with nature never succeed.

I think that if one has tried to follow attentively the great masters, one finds them all back at certain moments, deep in reality - I mean that their so-called creations will be seen by one in reality, if one has the same eyes, the same sentiment as they had. . . . One must look much and long at nature before one comes to the conviction that the most touching things the great masters have painted still find their origin in life and reality itself. A basis of sound poetry, which exists eternally as a fact, and can be found if one digs and seeks deeply enough.

"The durable within the transitory," it exists.

Letter 393
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Misfortune and disease

Vincent van Gogh to To Wilhelmina van Gogh, from Saint-Remy, 10 December 1889

While I was writing this letter I got up to order to put a few brush strokes on a canvas I'm working on - well, I don't know what thoughts came into my head while I was writing, but when I looked at my canvas I told myself it was not right. Then I took a color that was there on the palette, a dull dirty white, which you get by mixing white, green and a little carmine. I daubed this greenish tone all over the sky, and behold, at a distance it softens the tones, whereas one would think that one would spoil and besmirch the painting. Don't misfortune and disease do the same thing to us and to our health; and if fate ordains that we be unfortunate or sick, are we not in that case worth more than if we were serene and healthy according to our own vague ideas and desires with regard to possible happiness? I don't know…

When I compare them with others, some of my pictures certainly show traces of having been painted by a sick man, and I assure you that I don't do this on purpose. It's against my conscious will that all my calculations end in broken tones.

Letter W16
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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One can be mistaken

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Antwerp, c. 15 December 1884

At the museum there is a portrait of Delroche painted by Portaels. During his life he seemed such a big man, but how hollow and empty he proved to be afterward! and Courbet did not seem serious during their lives, yet how they proved themselves to be real painters!

By a curious mishap an accident has happened to the portrait of Delaroche, so that a hole was cut right in the middle of the forehead. It looks well, and really seems to belong to it. Ah! there is quite a curious race of people of whom one would not oppose at certain moments that they are actually absolutely hollow and empty. One can be mistaken. And sometimes it is quite refreshing to perceive one has been mistaken, though then one has to begin all over again from the very beginning.

Letter 440
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Straight from the painter's soul

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Antwerp, 8-15 December 1884

I won't let that idea of painting portraits go, for it is a good thing to fight for, to show people that there is more in them than the photographer can possibly get out of them with his machine.

I have noticed the great number of photographers here, who are just about the same as everywhere, and seem to be pretty busy.

But always those same conventional eyes, noses, mouths - waxlike and smooth and cold.

It cannot but always remain lifeless.

And the painted portraits have a life of their own, coming straight from the painter's soul, which the machine cannot reach. The more one looks at photographs, the more one feels this, I think.

Letter 439
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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It will not keep silent within yourself

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Drenthe, 19 November 1883

After all, no matter how much we may be our own enemies, I am beginning to realize more and more: "Man proposes and God disposes." An infinitely powerful force prevails over our doing right and wrong. . . . Ultimately I should feel so reassured were you to take up a brush that I should consider the momentary calamity and shipwreck of lesser importance than the certain knowledge that your future is moving in a direction you will never regret. . . .

At all events, I count it among the possibilities that you yourself may become conscious that painting is your vocation, and then, dear brother, Puritan "without knowing it", it might be that your days in Paris were numbered, that an old world closed itself to you, in a rather ungenerous way - but that at the same time a new world opened itself to you.

Well, think it over, a long or a short time. But it would be of little use if you said, Vincent, keep silent about it; for to that my answer is: Theo, it will not keep silent within yourself.

It is more difficult to repress
Than the source of great rivers.

Letter 338
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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That icy coldness

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Nuenen, October 1884

Read Zola's description of women in a room in the twilight - most of the women aged between 30 and 50 - such a sombre, mysterious place. I find it splendid, indeed sublime.

But to me, Millet's Angelus is just as sublime, with that same twilight, that same infinite emotion - or that single figure of Breton's in the Luxembourg, or his "Source." . . .

Oh, I am no friend of present-day Christianity, though its Founder was sublime - I have seen through present-day Christianity only too well. That icy coldness hypnotized even me, in my youth - but I have taken my revenge since then. How? By worshiping the love which they, the theologians, call sin, by respecting a whore, etc., and not too many would-be respectable, pious ladies. To some, woman is heresy and diabolical. To me she is just the opposite.

Letter 378
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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This White Light

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Drenthe, 29 October 1883

When I think of Father, it seems to me that the good in him is due to his intercourse with nature, and in my opinion his error is that he attaches more value to other things than they are really worth.

Father never knew, and does not know now, and never will know what the soul of modern civilization is. What is it? The eternal quality in the greatest of the great: simplicity and truth. . . . For me he is the rayon noir. Why isn't he a rayon blanc? - this is the only fault I find in Father. True, it is a great fault - I cannot help it. And listen to what I say: Try to find the rayon blanc, but blanc, do you hear?

I do not say - far, very far be it from me to say - that I myself have the rayon blanc, but I am not ashamed to say that it exists, this White Light - and that I seek it, and only this do I consider simplicity.

Letter 339a
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Having a handicraft

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Drenthe, 29 October 1883

What life I think best, oh, without the least shadow of a doubt it is a life consisting of long years of intercourse with nature in the country - and Something on High - inconceivable, "awfully unnamable" - for it is impossible to find a name for that which is higher than nature. Be a peasant - be, if it could be considered possible nowadays, a village clergyman or a schoolmaster - be - and in my opinion this ought to be thought of first, the present times being what they are - be a painter, and as a human being, after a number of years of living in the country and of having a handicraft, as a human being you will in the course of these years gradually become something better and deeper in the end.

Letter 339a
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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One is one's own horse

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Drenthe, 28 October 1883

I know the soul's struggle of two people: Am I a painter or not? Of Rappard and of myself - a struggle, hard sometimes, a struggle which accurately marks the difference between us and certain other people who take things less seriously; as for us, we feel wretched at times; but each bit of melancholy brings a little light, a little progress; certain other people have less trouble, work more easily perhaps, but then their personal character develops less. . . .

If you hear a voice within you saying, "You are not a painter," then by all means paint, boy, and that voice will be silenced, but only by working. He who goes to friends and tells his troubles when he feels like that loses part of his manliness, part of the best that's in him; your friends can only be those who themselves struggle against it, who raise your activity by their own example of action. One must undertake it with confidence, with a certain assurance that one is doing a reasonable thing, like the farmer drives his plow, and even drags the harrow himself. If one hasn't a horse, one is one's own horse.

Letter 336
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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The painter never says anything

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Arles, 17 September 1888

Some time ago I read an article on Dante, Petrarch, Boccaccio, Giotto and Botticelli. Good Lord! it did make an impression on me reading the letters of those men. . . .

Giotto moved me most - always in pain, and always full of kindness and enthusiasm, as though he were already living in a different world from ours.

And besides, Giotto is extraordinary. I understand him better than the poets Dante, Petrarch and Boccaccio.

I always think that poetry is more terrible than painting, though painting is a dirtier and a much more worrying job. And then the painter never says anything, he holds his tongue, and I like that too.

Letter 539
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Something of the eternal

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Arles, 3 September 1888

Oh, my dear boy, sometimes I know so well what I want. I can very well do without God both in my life and in my painting, but I cannot, ill as I am, do without something which is greater than I, which is my life - the power to create.

And if, defrauded of the power to create physically, a man tries to create thoughts in place of children, he is still very much part of humanity.

And in a picture I want to say something comforting as music is comforting. I want to paint men and women with that something of the eternal which the halo used to symbolize, and which we seek to confer by the actual radiance and vibration of our colorings.

Ah! portraiture, portraiture with the thought, the soul of the model in it, that is what I think must come.

Letter 531
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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The emptiness of the civilized world

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Arles, 1 September 1888

At the moment I am reading Daudet's L'Immortel, which I find very beautiful, but not particularly heartening. I think I shall have to read a book on elephant hunting, or of absolute lies about adventures which are categorically impossible, like Gustave Aimard for instance, to get rid of the heartbreak that L'Immortel is going to leave me with. It is exactly because it is so beautiful and so true that it makes you feel the emptiness of the civilized world.

Letter 530
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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I, as revolutionist or rebel

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Nuenen, September 1884

I could not phrase my last letter differently than I did. But I want you to know that it always strikes me as being a difference between you and me imposed by fate, rather than one for which we ourselves are to blame. . . .

Now Quinet or Michelet, for instance, or Victor Hugo (later), was the difference between them and their opponents very great? Yes, but seen superficially one would not have said so. I myself have formerly admired at one and the same time a book by Guizot and a book by Michelet. But in my case, as I got deeper into it, I found difference and contrast, which is stronger still.

In short, that the one comes to a dead end and disappears vaguely, and the other, on the contrary, has something infinite. Since then much has happened. But my opinion is, if you and I had lived in 1848, you would have been on the Guizot side, and I on the side of Michelet. And both of us remaining set in our outlooks, with a certain melancholy, we might have stood as direct enemies opposite each other, for instance on such a barricade, you before it as a soldier of the government, I behind it, as revolutionist or rebel.

Letter 379
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Frustrated by circumstances

Vincent van Gogh to Wilhelmina van Gogh, from Paris, Summer-Fall 1887

Art often seems very exalted and, as you say, sacred. But the same can be said of love. And the only problem is that not everybody thinks about it in this way, and that those who do feel something of it, and let themselves be carried away by it, have to suffer so much, firstly because they are misunderstood, but quite as often because their inspiration is so often inadequate, or their work is frustrated by circumstances. One ought to be able to do two or even more things at once. And there are certainly times when it is far from clear to us that art should be something sacred or good.

Letter W01
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Shame and disgrace

Vincent van Gogh to Wilhelmina van Gogh, from Paris, Summer-Fall 1887

And above all I find it alarming that you believe you must study in order to write. No, my dear little sister, learn how to dance, or fall in love with one or more of the notary's clerks, officers, in short, any who are within your reach - rather, much rather commit any number of follies than study in Holland. It serves absolutely no other purpose than to make people slow-witted, and I won't hear of it.

For my part, I still continue to have the most impossible and highly unsuitable love affairs, from which as a rule I come away with little more than shame and disgrace. And in my own opinion I am absolutely right to do this, since, as I keep telling myself, in years gone by, when I ought to have been in love, I gave myself up to religious and socialist affairs, and considered art holier than I do now.

Letter W01
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Providence is such a strange thing

Vincent van Gogh to Wilhelmina van Gogh, from Paris, Summer-Fall 1887

I have qualms about adopting for my own use, or about advising others to do so for theirs, the belief that there are powers above us that interfere personally in order to help or console us. Providence is such a strange thing, and I must confess that I haven't the slightest idea what to make of it. And well, there is still a degree of sentimentality in your little piece, and its form is reminiscent above all of tales about the above-mentioned providence, or let's say the providence in question. Tales that so often don't hold water, and to which a great many objections might be made.

Letter W01
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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We are able to take action

Vincent van Gogh to Wilhelmina van Gogh, from Paris, Summer-Fall 1887

And if, full of good intentions, we search in the books of which it is said that they illuminate the darkness, with the best will in the world we find precious little that is certain, and not always the satisfaction of personal consolation. . . .

Is the Bible enough for us? These days I think Jesus himself would say again to those who sit down in melancholy, "It is not here, it is risen. Why seek ye the living among the dead?" If the spoken or written word is to remain the light of the world, then we have the right and duty to acknowledge that we live in an age when it should be spoken and written in such a way that, if it is to be just as great and just as good and just as original and just as potent as ever to transform the whole of society, then its effect must be comparable to that of the revolution wrought by the old Christians.

I, for my part, am always glad that I have read the Bible more carefully than many people do nowadays, just because it gives me some peace of mind to know that there used to be such lofty ideals.

But precisely because I find the old beautiful, I find the new even more beautiful because we are able to take action in our own time while the past and the future concern us only indirectly.

Letter W01
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Unwilling to relinquish self-confidence

Vincent van Gogh to Wilhelmina van Gogh, from Paris, Summer-Fall 1887

By far the greatest number of grains of corn do not develop fully but end up at the mill - isn't this so? To compare human beings with grains of corn, now - in every human being who is healthy and natural there is a germinating force, just as there is in a grain of corn. And so natural life is germination. What the germinating force is to the grain, love is to us.

Now we tend to stand about pulling a long face and at a loss for words, I think, when, thwarted in our natural development, we find that germination has been foiled and we ourselves placed in circumstances as hopeless as they must be for a grain between the millstones.

When that happens to us and we are utterly bewildered by the loss of our natural life, there are some amongst us who, though ready to submit to the inevitable, are yet unwilling to relinquish their self-confidence, and determine to discover what is the matter with them and what is really happening.

Letter W01
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Despite all my faults

Vincent van Gogh to Anthon van Rappard, from Nuenen, second half of August 1885

And as regards technique, I am still searching for many things; and though I happen to find some of them, still there are an infinite number of things wanting. But for all that I know why I work as I do, and my efforts are planted on solid ground.

I said to Wenkebach only the other day that I did not know any painter who had as many faults as I do - but for all that I was not convinced that I am radically wrong. . . .

And yet I believe that - even if I go on producing work in which people can point out errors - when they want to, if this is their special purpose and point of view - it will still have a certain vitality and raison d'etre of its own that will hurl the errors into the shade - in the eyes of those who appreciate character and the spiritual conception of things. And it will not be so easy to confound me as they think, despite all my faults. I know too well what my ultimate goal is, and I am too firmly convinced of being on the right road after all, to pay much attention to what people say of me - when I want to paint what I feel and feel what I paint.

Letter R57
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Always

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Nuenen, June 1885

That passage from "Germinal" I copied for you lately had struck me particularly, because at the time I had almost literally the same longing to be something like a grass mower or a navvy.

And I was sick of the boredom of civilization. It is better, one is happier if one carries it out - literally though - one feels at least that one is really alive. And it is a good thing in winter to be deep in the snow, in the autumn deep in the yellow leaves, in summer among the ripe corn, in spring amid the grass; it is a good thing to be always with the mowers and the peasant girls, in summer with a big sky overhead, in winter by the fireside, and to feel that it always has been and always will be so.

One may sleep on straw, eat black bread, well, one will only be the healthier for it.

Letter 413
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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No stauncher friend than duty

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 3 June 1883

Look, man has no stauncher friend than his duty, and though at times it may be a rough and stern taskmaster, as long as one works in its service, one will not easily become a bankrupt.

. . . There are certain cases, like yours, in which the important thing is to save a life - look, in such cases Father himself would not know what to do, or rather, I actually believe that in his heart too "I vote for life" would carry the day. Ah! you know, once in a while when I am in doubt, I ask myself, Would you be a judge passing a death sentence? And every time I find only one answer: No, once and for all, I am for abolishing death sentences, legal or otherwise, ostracism and other capital punishments. We are called on to preserve life, to respect life; that is our duty, and we can always justify it - even if the world puts us in the wrong and things do not turn out to our advantage.

Letter 290
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Worse than ordinary people

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 3 June 1883

You and I also sometimes do things which are perhaps sinful; but for all that, we are not merciless, and we feel pity, and for the very reason that we do not consider ourselves perfect and know how things can happen, we do not revile fallen or frail women as the clergymen do, as if they themselves were the only ones at fault. And now this woman of yours is, moreover, a decent woman of a middle-class family, and I really think Father's error serious.

Suppose there were objections - my opinion is that Father, because he is a shepherd, ought to urge you on to help her and put up with difficulties for the sake of her preservation. One ought to find comfort from people like Father when society does not give comfort - but not they! - they are even worse than ordinary people.

Letter 288
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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The most ungodly men in our society

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 3 June 1883

I should like to be proud of Father, because he is truly a poor village preacher in the pure sense of the Gospel, but I think it so rotten that Father stoops to such considerations as something not being in keeping with "the dignity of his calling."

My opinion is that one might expect Father to co-operate as soon as the question of saving a woman arises. It would be right to be on her side, because she is poor and deserted.

By not doing so, Father commits an enormous error: it is inhuman for anyone to do such a thing; doubly so, however, if he is a servant of the Gospel.

Thwarting the interests of such a woman, preventing her rescue, is monstrous.

Oh, I know very well that nearly all clergymen would use the same language as Father - and for this reason I reckon the whole lot of them among the most ungodly men in our society.

Letter 288
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Be humble and contented with simple things

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 3 June 1883

In point of fact, clergymen are among the most unbelieving people in society and dry materialists. Perhaps not right in the pulpit, but in private matters. From a moral point of view one might be allowed to object to a marriage if real want of bread in its literal sense were to be expected; but as I see it, such an objection utterly loses its moral justification as soon as there is no question of actual want of bread. And it would be ridiculous to predict want of bread in your case.

Suppose somebody like old Mr. Goupil should raise monetary objections - from his point of view as a rich merchant, one could not expect anything else.

But coming from Father and Mother, who ought to be humble and contented with simple things, I think their speaking that way very wicked, and I feel something like shame at their behavior.

I wish we only strove for peace in our homes, and stinted ourselves rather than strain after a high position. And used our energy to increase our spiritual refinement and humaneness, but were contented with the most simple things as a matter of principle.

Letter 288
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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I too fail sometimes

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 9 May 1883

Well, my woman no longer walks on a path of flowers, as she did when she was younger and went her own way and followed her instincts. But life has become more thorny for her, has become a path of tears, especially last year but this year has thorns too, and so will the years to come - but with perseverance she will get over it.

But sometimes there is a crisis - especially when I venture to reprove her for some fault which I have had my eye on for a long time. So for instance, to give you an example, mending the clothes and making clothes for the children herself. But the result is that one day she takes it up, and in this respect, as in many others, she has already improved greatly. I still have to change so many things in myself, too; she must find in me an example of diligence and patience, and it is damned difficult, brother, to act so that one can indirectly be an example to somebody else, and I too fail sometimes. I must raise myself to a higher level in order to rouse new impulses in her.

Letter 284
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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The more one loves

Vincent van Gogh to Anthon van Rappard, from The Hague, c. 8 May 1883

I just can't believe that a painter should have no other task and no other duty than painting only. What I mean to say is, whereas many consider, for instance, reading books and such things that they call a waste of time, on the contrary, I am of the opinion that, far from causing one to work less or less well, rather it makes one work more and better to try to broaden one's mind in a field that is so closely allied with this work - and that at any rate it is a matter of importance, which greatly influences one's work, from whatever point of view one looks at things, and whatever conception one may have of life.

I believe that the more one loves, the more one will act; for love that is only a feeling I would never recognize as love.

Letter R34
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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What one might be

Vincent van Gogh to Anthon van Rappard, from The Hague, c. 8 May 1883

Do you share my opinion about your responsibility and about what depends on your position? - I'm not quite sure. There are two viewpoints for everyone: what one is and what one might be. In my opinion we must not shut ourselves up in the former with a "clear" conscience. The latter we must consider a formidable reality superior to our feelings; for, however imperfect and full of faults we may be, we shall never be justified in secretly concealing the ideal and all that approaches the eternal, as if all that were none of our business. For a number of reasons I consider your position very important under the present circumstances. Perhaps this makes me feel gloomier toward you. I ask myself, "What shall I do? Whose side is he on?"

Letter R34
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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"Whosoever shall lose his life"

Vincent van Gogh to Anthon van Rappard, from The Hague, c. 8 May 1883

In a certain sense there is something peculiar in the constitution of every painter. Temporary fits of weakness, nervousness, melancholy are often caused by the exertion of working; but at the same time there is something like a rebound, so that weakness, etc., may be overcome again by exertion.

. . . I'll tell you frankly that sometimes I feel clearly that these two forces of exhaustion and reinforcement in my constitution are there through one and the same cause - the exertion of working. And I have so much faith in this, not only for myself but also for others, that last year, for instance, when I was ill, I boldly disregarded some of the doctor's advice, not because I thought his advice wrong, or because I thought I knew better, but because I reasoned like this, "Life means painting to me and not so much preserving my constitution." Sometimes the mysterious words "Whosoever shall lose his life shall find it" are as clear as daylight.

Letter R34
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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I hate skepticism and sentimentality

Vincent van Gogh to Anthon van Rappard, from The Hague, 28 May 1882

Speaking for myself, I hate skepticism just as much as sentimentality; I do not want to suggest that the artists here are skeptics or cynics, but sometimes they seem to be, and take on a certain air of it, whereas confronted with nature they are as serious and devout as can be. However, I often catch myself making the same mistake, after which I lapse into sentimentality on the rebound, more than I ever intend to, so that I have hardly a right to criticize them.

How much that is beautiful - in the sense of picturesque - is disappearing these days! The other day I read something by the son of Charles Dickens; he said, "If my father were to come back, he would find little of the London he described, the 'old' London is disappearing - is being 'sanified.'" And in our country it is just the same - those nice little courts - they are being replaced by rows of houses, in the highest degree unpicturesque, unless they are still being built, for then they are, what with the sheds and scaffolding and workmen, very pleasant to look at.

Letter R08
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Getting on better with people

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Nuenen, c 15 May 1884

Recently I have been getting on better with people here than I did at first, which is of great importance to me, for one decidedly needs some distraction, and if one feels too lonely, the work always suffers from it; however, perhaps one must be prepared for it not to last.

But I feel quite optimistic about it, it seems to me that in general the people in Nuenen are better than those in Etten or Helvoirt; there is more sincerity here, at least that is my impression after having been here for some time.

It is true the people here look at things from a clergyman's point of view, but in such a way that I, for my part, don't feel any scruple in putting up with it.

Letter 368
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Reason and duty

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 30 April 1883

Well, the time has not yet come when reason, not only in the sense of raison, but also of la conscience, is respected by everyone; to contribute towards bringing about that time is a duty, and in judging characters one of the first things that humanity demands is to take into consideration the circumstances of contemporary society.

How beautiful Zola is - it is especially L'Assommoir which I often think of. Apropos, how far did you get in reading Balzac? I have quite finished Les Miserables. I know very well that Victor Hugo analyzes in a different way than do Balzac and Zola, but he probes to the bottom of things just as well.

Letter 281
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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More good in the world

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 30 April 1883

Some time ago you told me many things about these Swedish painters, Heyerdahl, Edelfelt.

This week I found a reproduction of a picture by Edelfelt: "A Prayer-Meeting on the Beach." There is something in it of Longfellow's poems; it is very beautiful. It shows a sentiment of which I am very fond, and which I think does more good in the world than the Italians and Spaniards with their "Arms Merchants of Cairo," of which I get so tired in the long run.

Letter 281
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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A great love

Vincent van Gogh to Anthon van Rappard, from The Hague, c. 5 March 1883

Do you have the portrait of Carlyle - that beautiful one in the Graphic? At the moment I am reading his Sartor Resartus - "the philosophy of old clothes." Among the "old clothes" he includes all kinds of forms and in the matter of religion all dogmas; it is beautiful - and faithful to reality - and humane. There has been a lot of grumbling about this book, as about his other books. Many consider Carlyle a monster - a joke about his "philosophy of old clothes" runs like this: Carlyle not only strips mankind to the skin, he even flays it. Something like that. Well, this is not true, but it most certainly is true that he is honest enough not to call the shirt the skin - and very far from seeing a tendency to belittle man in his works, I find, on the contrary, that he raises man to a high position in the universe. And much more than bitter criticism I find in him a love of humanity besides - a great love. He - Carlyle - has learned much from Goethe - but still more, I believe, from a certain man who did not write books, but whose words, though he did not write them down himself, have endured - namely Jesus . . . who, long before Carlyle, included many forms of all kinds of things among the "old clothes" too.

Letter R30
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Something makes one surrender completely

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 11 February 1883

I often think of what you wrote me recently. I think there must be a great difference between the woman you met and the one I have already lived with for a full year, but what they have in common is their misfortune and their sex.

Don't you also think that if one meets someone in such a way - I mean, so weak and defenseless - something makes one surrender completely, so that one cannot imagine ever being able to desert such a person? Generally speaking, such an encounter is an apparition.

Letter 266
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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The poor people and the painters

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 8 February 1883

We had a few real spring days, for instance last Monday, which I enjoyed very much.

The cycle of the seasons is a thing which is strongly felt by the people. For instance, in a neighborhood like the Geest and in those courts of almshouses or "homes of charity," the winter is always a difficult, anxious and oppressive time, and spring is a deliverance. If one pays attention, one sees that such a first spring day is a kind of Gospel message.

And it is pathetic to see so many gray, withered faces come out of doors on such a day, not to do something special, but as if to convince themselves that spring is there. So, for instance, all kinds of people, of whom one would not expect it, throng the market around the spot where a man sells crocuses, snowdrops, bluebells and other bulbs. . . . I think the poor people and the painters have in common that feeling for the weather and the cycle of the seasons.

Letter 265
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Life is only a kind of sowing time

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 8 February 1883

What concerns me and is a source of responsibility is that I should make the most of the circumstances and try my best to make progress.

The age of thirty is, for the working man, just the beginning of a period of some stability, and as such one feels young and full of energy.

But, at the same time, a phase of life is past. This makes one melancholy, thinking some things will never come back. And it is no silly sentimentalism to feel a certain regret. Well, many things really begin at the age of thirty, and certainly all is not over then. But one doesn't expect out of life what one has already learned that it cannot give, but rather one begins to see more and more clearly that life is only a kind of sowing time, and the harvest is not here.

Perhaps that's the reason that one sometimes feels indifferent toward the opinion of the world, and if that opinion depresses us all too strongly, one may throw it off.

Perhaps I had better tear up this letter as well.

Letter 265
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Most people me consider me a failure

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 8 February 1883

Sometimes I cannot believe that I am only thirty years old, I feel so much older.

I feel older only when I think that most people who know me consider me a failure, and how it really might be so, if some things do not change for the better; and when I think it might be so, I feel it so vividly that it quite depresses me and makes me as downhearted as if it were really so. In a calmer and more normal mood I am sometimes glad that thirty years have passed, and not without teaching me something for the future, and I feel strength and energy for the next thirty years, if I should live that long.

And in my imagination I see years of serious work before me, and happier ones than the first thirty.

How it will be in reality doesn't depend only on myself, the world and circumstances must also contribute to it.

Letter 265
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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What's the use of a beautiful body?

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Amsterdam, 9 January 1878

Uncle Cor asked me today if I didn't like "Phryne" by Gerome. I told him that I would rather see a homely woman by Israels or Millet, or an old woman by Edouard Frere: for what's the use of a beautiful body such as Phryne's? Animals have it too, perhaps even more than men; but the soul, as it lives in the people painted by Israels or Millet or Frere, that is what animals never have. Is not life given us to become richer in spirit, even though the outward appearance may suffer? I feel very little sympathy for the figure by Gerome. I can find no sign of spirituality in it, and a pair of hands which show they have worked are more beautiful than those of this figure. The difference is greater still between such a beautiful girl and a man like Parker or Thomas a Kempis or those Meissonier painted; one can no more love and have sympathy for two such disparate things than one can serve two masters.

Uncle Cor then asked me if I should feel no attraction for a beautiful woman or girl. I answered that I would feel more attraction for, and would rather come into contact with, one who was ugly or old or poor or in some way unhappy, but who, through experience and sorrow, had gained a mind and a soul.

Letter 117
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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"Behold, I make all things new"

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Dordrecht, 21 January 1877

Last Sunday, I wrote to Mr. & Mrs. Jones to tell them that I was not coming back, and unintentionally the letter became rather long - out of the fullness of my heart. I wished them to remember me and asked them to wrap my recollection in the cloak of charity.

I have hung in my bedroom the two engravings Christus Consolator that you have given me. I saw the pictures at the museum, as well as Scheffer's "Christ in Gethsemane," which is unforgettable. Then there is a sketch of "Les Douleurs de la Terre" and several drawings, a sketch of his studio, and, as you know, the portrait of his mother. There are still other fine pictures, for instance, Achenbach and Schelfhout and Koekkoek and also a fine Allebe - an old man near the stove. Shall we look at them together someday?

The first Sunday I was here, I heard a sermon on "Behold, I make all things new." This morning I heard the Reverend Mr. Beversen in a little old church. There was Communion, and his text was: "If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink."

Letter 84
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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A phrase that haunts me

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from Paris, January 1876

There is a phrase that haunts me these days - it is today's text, "His children will seek to please the poor." . . .

For several days we have had a mouse in our "cabin", which is what we call our room. Every night, we put bread on the floor for it, and it knows already where to find it.

Letter 52
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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We can talk about the future

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 3 January 1883

When you come sooner or later, I can show you more, and then we can talk about the future. You know well enough how unfit I am to cope with either dealers or art lovers, and how contrary it is to my nature. I should like it so much if we could always continue as we are now, but it often makes me sad to think that I must always be a burden to you. But who knows, in time you may be able to find someone who takes an interest in my work, who will take from your shoulders the burden which you took upon yourself at the most difficult time. This can only happen when it is quite evident that my work is serious, when it speaks more clearly for itself than it does now.

I myself am too fond of a very simple life to wish to change it, but later on, in order to do greater things, I shall have greater expenses, too. I think I shall always work with a model - always and always. And I must try to arrange matters so that the whole burden doesn't always fall on you.

This is only a beginning - later you will get better things from me, my boy.

Letter 257
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Something of life itself

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 3 January 1883

As to the sentiment of the drawings, I should like to know your opinion because, as I have already said, I myself cannot judge what is or isn't in them.

Or rather, it is because I myself prefer studies like these - even though they are not quite finished and many things in them have been neglected - to drawings with a definite subject: they remind me more vividly of nature itself. You will understand what I mean: there is something of life itself in the real studies, and the person who makes them will not think of himself, but of nature, and so prefer the study to what he may perhaps make of it later - unless something quite different should finally result from the many studies, namely the type distilled from many individuals.

That's the highest thing in art, and there art sometimes rises above nature - in Millet's "Sower," for instance, there is more soul than in an ordinary sower in the field. . . .

By working hard, boy, I hope to succeed in making something good. It isn't there yet, but I aim at it and struggle for it. I want something serious - something Fresh - something with soul in it! Forward - forward.

Letter 257
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Conscience is a man's compass

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 12-18 December 1882

How can I know whether I shall reach some goal - how can I know beforehand whether the difficulties will or will not be overcome?

One must go on working silently, leaving the result to the future. If one prospect is closed, perhaps another will open itself - there must be some prospect, and a future too, even if we do not know its geography. Conscience is a man's compass, and though the needle sometimes deviates, though one often perceives irregularities.

Letter 253
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Clinging to the right

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 12-18 December 1882

The one thing which is increasingly difficult to decide on is the best working method. There is so much beauty on one side as well as on the other - and at the same time so many things wrong - that sometimes one doesn't know which path to choose. But at all events, one must work on. But I myself do not think I cannot make mistakes - I am too conscious of my many errors to be able to say this or that is the right manner and this or that, the wrong one. That goes without saying. But I am not indifferent, I think it wrong to be so. I think it one's duty to try to do the right thing, even knowing that one cannot go through life without making mistakes, without regret or sorrow. Somewhere I read, Some good must come by clinging to the right.

Letter 253
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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"Something up there"

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 12-18 December 1882

I have two new drawings now . . . . My intention in these two, and in the first little old man, is one and the same, namely to express the peculiar sentiment of Christmas and New Year's Eve. Both in Holland and England this is always more or less religious, in fact, it is that way everywhere, at least in Brittany, and in the Alsace, too. Now one need not agree exactly with the form of that religious sentiment, but if it is sincere, it is a feeling one must respect. And personally, I can fully share it and even need it, at least to a certain extent, just the way I have a feeling for such a little old man and a belief in "something up there," even though I am not exactly sure how or what it may be. I think it a splendid saying of Victor Hugo's, "religions pass away, but God remains"; and another beautiful saying of Gavarni's is "what matters is to grasp what does not pass away in what passes away."

One of the things "that won’t pass away" is the "something up there" and the belief in God, too, though the forms may change - a change which is just as necessary as the renewal of the leaves in spring.

Letter 253
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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More soul, more love, more heart

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 11 December 1882

Do you know what I think of the copy I'm sending you? It is just like Obach's kind of talk, for instance, the manager of Goupil and Co. in London. And it has success, yes, that has success, yes, that is listened to and that is admired. . . . I respect all kinds of work, I don’t despise Obach, but there are things which I rank infinitely higher than that kind of energy.

I want something more concise, more simple, more serious; I want more soul and more love and more heart.

But you may be sure that I will not and cannot cry out against it, that I will not rebel against it. But it makes me sad, it takes away my pleasure, it upsets me, and personally I am absolutely at a loss about what to do.

Letter 252
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Things are going wrong

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 11 December 1882

The public, yes, one part of it is dissatisfied, but material grandeur also finds applause; however, do not forget that this is merely a straw-fire, and that those who applaud generally do so only because it has become the fashion. But on the day after the banquet, there will be a void - a silence and indifference after all that noise. . . .

Look here, Theo boy, it cuts me to the heart, things are going wrong. You know I would have counted it the highest honor - an ideal, in fact - to contribute to what the Graphic started. The sublime beginning of the Graphic was something like what Dickens was as an author, what the Household Edition of his work was as a publication.

And now everything is gone - once again materialism instead of moral principle.

Letter 252
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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I hate the thought of it!

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 11 December 1882

Here in The Hague there are clever, great men, I readily admit it; but in many respects what a miserable state of affairs - what intrigues, what quarrels, what jealousy. And in the personality of the successful artists who . . . set the tone, material grandeur is unmistakably substituted for moral grandeur.

I am beginning to feel that if I went, for instance, to England, if I made every effort, I should certainly have a chance of finding a job.

My ideal was to achieve this, and, after all, it still is; this was what enabled me to surmount the enormous difficulties in the beginning. But my heart gets heavy at times when I think of the way things are going, it's not so much fun any more. Of course, I love to do my best on the drawings, but to present myself at all those publishers' offices - oh, I hate the thought of it!

Letter 252
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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A painter paints to do some good

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 11 December 1882

But as to me - que faire?

A few years ago Rappard and I walked outside Brussels on a spot which they call la Valle Josaphat . . . . At that time there was a sand quarry where diggers were at work, there were women looking for dandelion leaves, a farmer was sowing; we looked at all that, and I was almost in despair then: "Shall I ever succeed in painting what I admire so much?" Now I no longer despair, now I can capture those farmers and women better; and working on with patience, I can now succeed to a certain extent. But I am sorely oppressed by the way things are going and can no longer think of those magazines with pleasure and enthusiasm. The Graphic neglects to say that many in the group of artists refuse to give their work, and withdraw more and more. Why? because a painter paints to do some good and has some sincerity in his heart which despises all that grandeur. What more shall I say?… I can only repeat, "Que faire!"

Of course, I continue to work, but conscious of a dark future.

Letter 252
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Moral grandeur dwindles

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 11 December 1882

But how hard-hearted they are, how mistaken they are, if they think they can make everybody believe that material grandeur outweighs moral grandeur, and that any good can be accomplished without the latter.

It is the same with the Graphic as it is with many other things in the realm of art. Moral grandeur dwindles, material grandeur supersedes. But will the much-desired change come? I think that everybody must find that out for himself, but the old parable mentions a broad way which leads to destruction, and a narrow path which leads to another result.

The Graphic started on the narrow path, has now passed to the broad one. This morning I saw the last number, there wasn't a single good thing in it.

Letter 252
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Here I feel something holy

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 11 December 1882

When strong enough to stand on its own feet, the Graphic rented a house and began to print with six machines.

I have full respect for this; here I feel something holy, something noble, something sublime. Then look at that group of great artists, and think of foggy London and the bustle in that small workshop. Moreover, I see in my imagination the draftsmen in their several studios, starting their work with the best enthusiasm.

Letter 252
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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"Blessed is he who has found his work"

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 27 November 1882

At times all nature seems to speak, and on going home one has a feeling of the same sort as when one has finished a book by Victor Hugo, for instance. As for me, I cannot understand that not everybody sees it and feels it, nature or God does it for everyone who has eyes and ears and a heart to understand. For this reason I think a painter is happy because he is in harmony with nature as soon as he can express a little of what he sees.

And that's a great thing, one knows what one has to do, there are subjects in abundance, as Carlyle rightly says, "Blessed is he who has found his work."

Letter 248
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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The existence of "something on high"

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 27 November 1882

Now I have witnessed everything, the transfer on to the stone, the preparation of the stone and the printing itself. . . . After a time I hope to do better, this doesn't satisfy me at all, but well, the progress must come by work and trying. It seems to me the duty of a painter to try to put an idea into his work. In this print I have tried to express (but I cannot do it well, or so strikingly as it is in reality, of which this is but a weak reflection in a dark mirror) what seems to me one of the strongest proofs of the existence of "something on high" in which Millet believed, namely, the existence of God and eternity - certainly in the infinitely touching expression of such a little old man, of which he himself is perhaps unconscious, when he is sitting quietly in his corner by the fire.

Letter 248
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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A need for something infinite

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 5 November 1882

How much good walking out to the desolate seashore and gazing out at the grey-green sea with the long white crests on its waves can do for a man who is downcast and dejected! But if one should have a need for something great, something infinite, something one can perceive God in, there is no need to go far in quest; it seems to me that I have seen something deeper, more infinite, more eternal than the ocean in the expression in a small child's eyes when it awakens early in the morning and yells or laughs on finding the dear sun shining upon its cradle. If ever a "beam shines down from above," that may be where it is to be found.

Letter 242
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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I see expression and soul

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 5 November 1882

Today I have been working on old drawings from Etten, because in the fields I saw the pollard willows in the same leafless condition again, and it reminded me of what I saw last year. Sometimes I have such a longing to do landscape, just as I crave a long walk to refresh myself; and in all nature, for instance in trees, I see expression and soul, so to speak. A row of pollard willows sometimes resembles a procession of almshouse men. Young corn has something inexpressibly pure and tender about it, which awakens the same emotion as the expression of a sleeping baby, for instance. The trodden grass at the roadside looks tired and dusty like the people of the slums. A few days ago, when it had been snowing, I saw a group of Savoy cabbages standing frozen and benumbed, and it reminded me of a group of women in their thin petticoats and old shawls which I had seen standing in a little hot water-and-coal shop early in the morning.

Letter 242
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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Though disappointed by circumstances

Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, from The Hague, 5 November 1882

When you say in your last letter, “What a mystery nature is,” I quite agree with you. Life in the abstract is already an enigma; reality makes it an enigma within an enigma. And who are we to solve it? However, we ourselves are an atom of that universe which makes us wonder: Where does it go, to the devil or to God ?

Yet the sun rises, says Victor Hugo. Long, long ago I read in L'Ami Fritz by Erckmann-Chatrian a saying of the old rabbi's, which I have always remembered: "We are not in life to be happy, but we must try to deserve happiness." Taken separately, there is something pedantic in this thought - at least, one might take it as such - but in the context in which the words occurred, that is, from the mouth of that sympathetic figure of the old rabbi, David Sechel, they touched me deeply, and I often think of them. Similarly in drawing, one must not count on selling one's drawings, but it is one's duty to make them so that they have a certain value and are serious; one must not become careless or indifferent even though disappointed by circumstances.

Letter 242
Translation courtesy of Robert Harrison.
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